We All Have a Story to Tell || v.f. ~COMPLETED~

1.9

/ SCARLETT /

lyric-

yeah, we fray

and fade away

we never cut loose

--

I sat on the concrete, squinting my eyes against the bright sun. "It's really hot," I complained.

"Yeah," Alli said, "it is." She sighed. "Unfortunately, they're releasing me today. I don't want to go home if my mom is serious about never letting me speak to my boyfriend again."

I frowned. "I'm sorry. I hope things work out. You really don't deserve it."

"Thanks." She picked at the grass. "When are you getting released?"

"Mrs. Ella said probably tomorrow," I replied.

For a moment, I questioned my plan. Was three months in a mental hospital really worth Vic? Were the rumours that would be started at school worth Vic? Was missing most of the first semester of my senior year worth Vic?

I had no clue. But I knew what I wanted, and for once in my life, I was going to pursue it. I'd never gone after anything I'd ever wanted because I was too scared. I was too anxious of what might happen if I messed up. I had this crazy idea that, no matter what, I would always screw up.

But that isn't true, is it?

-

Austin stopped me on my way to my room. "I've convinced them to let you talk Vic since you were friends and since you're the one who found him. He really wants to talk to you, too, apparently."

I couldn't help the huge smile that made its way across my face. "Yes! Thank you so much, Austin!"

Everyone went back outside for RT - recreational therapy - and they let Vic join us since he was with us just a few days ago.

He and I sat together on one of the children's big playhouse thingy on the playground.

"I'm really sorry," he said.

"Yeah, you should be." It sounded a bit harsher than I'd intended. I sighed. "That's what actually happened. The night that I claimed to have amnesia. I found my best friend dead in her room. She'd slit her throat and wrists and cut up her legs. It wasn't as bad this time around because I've already experienced it."

"I regret it now, I really do," Vic said. "I wanted to stay in short term. Long term isn't that bad, but I'm missing half of my senior year. I'll have to be held back and retake twelfth grade."

"Any other reasons?" I whispered.

He nodded. "Yeah. You. This really sucks. They say you're getting released tomorrow."

I was wondering if I should tell him my plan. But then again, there were others around us that could totally bust me out. I had to be careful. I had to proceed with caution.

"Uh-huh," I said. "I don't wanna leave. I like it here."

That was an honest-to-God lie. I hated it here by now. The blood stains on the floor of the bathroom and Vic's absence were constantly nagging at my mind, taking my brick wall down, piece by piece. I was losing my control because I wasn't able to cut. The new medication was supposed to balance out my mood, and it did, but now I was basically in a bad mood 24/7.

Thank you, Dr. Moore, a doctor who's obviously too freaking thick in the head to see through my pitiful lies. I was hardly even trying anymore. I'd just say things with a blank expression. How could he possibly buy into that? How could Austin buy into it?

I needed to cut. I needed the satisfaction that cold, metal blade brought. I needed the pain. I needed the blood. I needed an escape. This place used to be my escape. But now that everything reminded me of Vic, I couldn't stand it. All of my nights were sleepless. I'd picked up a few things from the oh-so-pitiful Willow that hated the world and all its inhabitants. She could usually get out of group sessions or RT by complaining of an anxiety attack or a migraine.

So I began to do the same. That's when I got my sleep. I would return to my room and sleep. Maybe twice a day. Sometimes, I could even get out of meals.

So why? Why were they releasing me if I was so obviously not better? Couldn't they tell? It seemed utterly impossible that no one had realised how much worse I'd gotten... It shook me... Was I that unimportant? Was I so invisible that no one noticed if I completely changed my personality?

I guess so.