bloodline ; seventeen

-24-

No matter what Minghao did, nothing could release him from the guilt that built at the pit of his stomach. His conscience ate at him without remorse, knowing he deserved it. He deserved the picture of tears rolling down the other's face on the back of his eyelids, he deserved to hear the heartbreak in his voice on repeat in his echoed head. He deserved every last haunting his behaviour gave him and he couldn't deny it. That was the hard part.

Minghao made it through life denying reality to build a viable fantasy. A fantasy where he could sleep at night without reminders of the scar on his neck, a fantasy where his hands aren't covered in blood and wrong-doings. However, like all coping mechanism, they can only work for so long, so much. Now, all the raven haired vampire was left with was regret and fear of what he had become. He had become the monster himself. A man he swore never to impersonate to replicate. He had turned into his turner. 

His head flooded all at once with unwanted, regretful thoughts as he broke up his rice with silver chopsticks; gradually eating rice and chicken as time dragged on. The seasoned, well prepared food tasted bland on his tongue, his mind too busy with his emotions to even begin to process the flavors of kimchi fried rice that entered body. 

Although distracted, the Chinese boy finished his dinner faster than most of the guild members; only the weird blond human and Seungkwan seemed to be empty plated with him. He knew the right and polite thing to do would be to wait at the table until everyone had finished but considering his circumstances, Minghao wanted nothing but to be as far away from the dinner table as possible. If it had been up to him, he would have skipped the dinner all together, but Seungcheol threatened to replace him with Wonwoo on the front lines if he didn't show up. He had no choice but to put himself on lock down until the second the food ran out on his floral china.

With relief replacing the anxiety in his chest, Minghao abruptly pushed himself out of his chair and gently picked up his place and cutlery, gaining the attention of his fellow guild members as he pushed his chair in. In attempt to deflect and outrun the inevitable, the mullet sporting boy tried to place his dishes in the sink and get out of the kitchen before questions started to be hurled towards him, but luck was definitely not on his side. 

"Hey." Seungehol called out, gaining Minghao's immediately. As their eyes connected, Seungcheol could see something he had never quite seen before. He could see emotion, an overbearing amount of emotion in his beautiful brown eyes; giving away every secret Minghao tried to keep. Regardless of the troubled look in his eyes, the leader was completely clueless as to what happened or had caused his burdensome state. Although he wanted to question the boy, he suppressed his aching tendency and stood with his original inquiry. "Where you going? Dinner just started, we haven't even served dessert yet."

Minghao forced out a smile to the leader and his boyfriend, as Seungcheol's arm was basically glued to Jeonghan's small, but muscular shoulders as he spoke. He didn't have the energy in his head, heart or body to shoot anything close to witty or smart back towards the black haired leader. All he could muster in his heavy head was the first excuse to come to the tip of his tongue. "I know, I just feel a little under the weather." He spoke with his fake smile slowly wearing off, his act growing more and more plastic as he went on. Knowing he couldn't keep up his performance for much longer, he dropped his dishes into the sink and he finalized his speech. "I'm just gonna sleep early tonight in hopes that it fixes everything. I guess I haven't fully healed from my flare up after all." 

When the raven haired boy played the flare up card, he knew he had won. He watched the leader's eyes soften from the exiting door frame, his words pushing into the soft spot of Seungcheol's heart. Disregarding every suspicion he had in the beginning, he nodded at the other's words. "Oh. Well, in that case, sleep well."