Take Me To Church - l.s. AU

Ch.5

It's been two days since my night out with Harry.

After throwing the cross into the lake we just went back to the car, laid on top of the boot, watched the stars and talked. We chatted about whatever came to mind. From past Christmases, to our favorite colors, to crap Telly. He would give me tender touches and kiss my hair. He never stopped touching me in one way or another. Either it be as simple as our hands together, or him running little circles with his thumb up and down my arm. I loved it.

I had arrived home about 2:30 am, completely knackered. I didn't have to worry about acting buzzed, because in all honesty the crying had sobered me up a good amount. My dad I guess had heard me come home, because he went to my door after I had changed and asked how my night was.

I just said fine, and left it at that.

But it was better then fine. It was great. But my dad didn't need to know that.

-

Currently I was trying to put my phone alarm clock on snooze for about the tenth time, but I knew I had to get up sadly. Today was Sunday, which meant church day.

-

"Will you pray with me?" My father recited. Everyone in the room bowed their heads or closed their eyes. It was an eery silence. I didn't like it. It felt cold. Normally I liked it. Normally I would speak to god in this moment; do what I was suppose to do, pray. But I just didn't feel like it, honestly.

So instead I let my eyes travel around the room. Lately I've been questioning my faith. I would never abandon it, but I did see it in a different light now that Harry and I were together....

Well not fully together anyway... We had talked briefly about it on top of the boot that night. Harry had stated: ' I want to be with you. And I know-well hope- you want to be with me too.'

Of course I wanted to be with him... My reply was just a nod, I remember. 'I just don't want to be labeled as... Boyfriends? It's still really fresh and new to me.' Had been my explanation. He understood completely of course. I had also gone to tell him that we couldn't be public. At least not until I moved out of Doncaster and figured out what to do.

Could I ever come out? With Harry or without I would have to. After that night I had come to the conclusion that I was gay. Not bi or whatever... Gay.

It was strange. I had been told since I could understand English the way things were. Faith, God, and what sins are. Being gay is a sin. Would I go to hell? I don't know... But I don't think I really cared...

I couldn't hide forever, I knew that. So somehow I would have to tell the world.

I could tell Lottie no problem. She didn't care for church or anything of the sorts. She wouldn't judge.

I could tell El. She'd love having a 'GBF' she had put it before.

My mum? Maybe... She'd flip, but I think after a long while she'd be somewhat okay... Right?

My dad.... No. Never. I don't even want to imagine his reaction if his only son, the 'second man of the house', 'his boy' came out gay. I don't know what I'd do with myself in that situation. It would be completely unpredictable and-

buzz

My phone vibrated in my back pocket. Then I noticed my father had gone back to preaching. Guess I zoned out...

I glanced to my mother, she was just focused on what her husband had to say. I looked to my left, seeing Lottie with her eyes glazed over like she was spacing out, too.

So I dug my mobile out.

Harry :) sent you a text

I opened my phone to read his message, trying not to get caught and trying to hide my obnoxious smile. The smile that I only saved for Harry.

hi babe, you free sometime this week after work? Xx

I typed my reply quickly.

maybe... My mum might have something planned. Y?

His reply came almost instantly.

wanted to spend time with you ;) take you out xx

Like a date?

what... So like a date???

yup :D

If possible my smile grew wider. I was about to text back when my mum snatched my phone from my hands. She whisper-yelled into my ear, scolding me. "Louis William what have I told you about texting in church?" I just whispered a sorry then went to grab my mobile. She held it away before locking it and placing it in her purse.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't a kid! I crossed my arms and huffed like a brat, sinking down into my chair.

I hated when she did this... Treating me like a child... "Harry's the one texting you?" She whispered next to me. My eyes widened and when I turned my head to look at my mum she had my phone back in her hand, staring at the screen with a frown; the mobile showing I had another text from Harry.

"Mu-" she then unlocked my mobile. "Mum I-" she began scrolling through the messages.

"A date?!" She hissed as she stared back at me. "Louis William this better be some kind of sick joke!" Her voice wasn't a whisper anymore, and now people were staring at us, including my dad who was stood up at the podium. She kept speaking broken English as my mind raced. "Is he messing with you Louis? Is he gay? I knew I had a feeling about-"

"Stop!" I screamed. The room fell dead silent. Everyone's eyes now on us. My breathing was erratic and my eyes felt a little blurry from unshed frustrated tears.

I acted fast as I yanked my phone for her hands and ran out of the room. I could hear my mum yelling my name but then the door shut with a defiant slam.

-

*Edited*