Take Me To Church - l.s. AU

Ch. 12

That night I called Lottie asking her what happened. She said mum had gone through her phone, then finding the address. I had curse loudly which I'm sure upset my sister. I asked if she thought mum would ever come here, but we both agreed that no, she wouldn't. She wasn't the confrontational type. I also questioned if my dad had the address. Lottie said she didn't know, but was pretty sure he didn't.

It was the next morning, and I still hadn't opened the letter. I was kind of afraid to. It had to be long, saying the envelope was thick.

I now sat at the dinette, munching on a bowl of cereal, the flat silent. Harry went into work today but he said I should take the day off. I didn't protest and my boss seemed fine with it when I called in.

So now I was alone with my thoughts, and an obnoxious white unopened letter staring me right in the face a few feet away.

After much internal arguing, I finally snatched the letter and ripped it open. I didn't expect to find what I did.

The envelope contained a cross neckless like the one I had before, a few different quotes from the bible, and a long prayer sheet. All regarding homosexuality. A couple of pages from the bible itself was there too. I skimmed them all, but the one that really set me off was the one that talked about "being sick" and "needing guidance in this foggy time"....

Sick?!

Foggy time?!

Did my mother really think this would... Would what? "Fix" me?! That "God" would "help" me?! No church could "cure" me, and I sure as hell didn't need curing! My vision clouded with tears. But I wasn't sad or feeling sorry for myself. They were angry tears.

Without thinking I began to rip and tear the papers apart. "Fuck you!" I screamed as I ripped the pages from the bible. The anger filled tears escaping my eyes. I then grabbed the cross neckless and threw it at the wall, a scream leaving me. It most likely sounded like I was being murdered, but at the moment I didn't care. At first I was sad. I was sad that my parents would do this to me. Now I'm angry.

I stood up abruptly causing the chair I was sitting in the fall back and clatter on the hardwood.

I was also upset because my own mother didn't have the decency to write me and ask if I was alright. Instead she sent things to me to try to cover up the "problem."

I then collected all the tore up papers and attempted to throw them at the wall too, but they just floated randomly to the ground peacefully.

Yes, I was basically throwing a fit.

After screaming a whole ton and cursing my parent's names, I dropped to the floor and rested with my back to the wall. I cried harder now. I had been crying throughout my outburst, but the anger was gone now. And I was now back to crying like a bitch.

I missed my sister. I missed the way things used to be. I missed- I needed to stop. I didn't truly miss the way things used to be, because Harry wasn't a part of me then. And I would never regret meeting him. I loved him.

Holy shit... I just admitted to myself that I loved Harry.. Sure it's not officially admitted since I didn't say it to him but... Yes, I did love him. I hoped he loved me too.

I eventually passed out on the hardwood floor, back still pressed to the wall. Scattered ripped papers littered around me, along with a cross neckless laying lamely on the ground.

-

I began to wake up to the sound of the front door's lock being jingled. I looked around pretty confused, seeing it was now dark outside and I was still sat on the floor. My bum and back hurt too.

My head hurt like a bitch too, most likely from the screaming and crying I'd done. "Honey I'm hoommee!" I heard Harry's voice in a sing-song cliche tone. I then heard the door click shut as Harry came into the kitchen. He set his wallet and keys down then proceeded to look around. Once his eye landed on me a gasp left him. "Lou?!" I probably looked horrid. Harry dropped to his knees next to me. He looked around at the papers, then scanned my face his eyes wide with concern. "What-what happened?" He glanced to the knocked over chair.

"I umm... Got mad?" It came out like a question. He then picked up the torn paper closets to us and attempted to read what was left of it. "It's what my mum sent me." I stated. He made a fist the paper crinkling in his hand, his jaw clenching tight.

-

Harry helped me clean up my mess. He threw out the papers as I thought about to do with the cross. An idea then popped into my mind. I dug through the junk drawer until I found an envelope and stamps, grabbing a loose piece of paper.

please do not contact again. -L

Is what I wrote. I stuck the cross necklace and small note into the envelope, sealing it then writing my parents address on the front. Honestly I didn't want to speak to them after the stunt my mother pulled. As I finished writing I felt strong arms wrap around my waist. He kissed behind my ear before nuzzling his face into my hair. "What's that?" He asked.

"M'sending it to my parents. Told them not to contact me." I felt him nod.

"If that's what you want." He sighed slightly.

"It is. They don't respect me.. So..." He just hummed. He brought me closer making my back flush with his chest, my bum against his crotch. I then felt he was hard. I cleared my throat. "Haz?" He hummed once again, starting to leave kisses around my neck. I wiggled myself out of his grasp which resulted in a disapproving sound leaving him. I just wasn't in the mood. Emotionally I was still wound up. I turned to face him instead. "Sorry just..." He shook his head, taking one of my hands bringing it to his lips to kiss my knuckles softly.

"No I'm sorry babe... I know you aren't ready, and my timing is shit-"

"It's not that." I cut in. "I-I do want to... Ya'know.. But I'm just honestly not in the right frame of mind right now." He offered me a small smile. There was some disappointment in his face, but not much.

"I understand sweetheart." He leaned in and pecked my lips, then left a lingered kiss on my forehead. He then lazily draped his arms over my shoulders as I hooked my arms around his waist loosely. He rested his chin on top my head. "I'm ready when you are lovely" he mumbled. I just put my face in his chest not really responding.

*two weeks later*

It was now a little more then midway through December. My mum had attempted to call a few times but other then that they did as I told them; they didn't contact.

I had returned to work and slowly fell into the new routine of living with Harry. It was nice. Depending on the schedules one of us would always get home sooner then the other. The one who got home first would make dinner for the both of us. Since I was a horrid cook, Harry would normally come home to a messy kitchen with hardly anything done. Then he'd have to step in and finish cooking. He didn't seem to mind though.

We'd stay up late and watched movies cuddling. Sometimes we didn't even really watch the movie...

We did a lot of domestic things too. We went grocery shopping together and even painted the walls in the kitchen to a pale yellow. I loved living with him. It was perfect.

I still hadn't admitted I loved him. There were many times he almost said it to me. Like when snogging like mad he'd pull away just to look at me, then open his mouth to say something before shutting it again. Or at night when we're about to fall asleep, he'll tell me a goodnight but I could tell he wanted to say more; he just never did.

-

*Edited*