moon cycles and raven feathers [r. lupin]

| 17 |

november 19th, 1976

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11 years later and catherine still remembered the sting of her father's hand hitting her arm, she could still see the imprint that shown like a red badge of shame on her pale skin.

he had only hit her once, and had only done so because of her mother's wishes. she had always been a good child, if not a little bit underwhelming, and she had never done something to get too far on the bad side of her mother. until she was caught snooping in her aunts rose bushes, trying to figure out what the women were saying through the thin glass in the window panes, that was.

cath had never quite figured out why that act was the one that sent her mother into a fit of rage, but it was. she assumed that her mother and aunt had been talking about something that no one, especially a little girl with a habit of running her mouth to strangers, should hear. the late 60's were quite an unsavory time in their covens recent history and cath didn't doubt that her mother must've employed some unconventional manors of regaining control.

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"i don't know which of those filthy mudbloods you learned this abhorrent behavior from but i won't stand for it!"
"mother-"
"you would do well to bite your tongue girl, you're father will be absolutely livid when he finds out."

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as it turns out, her father was not livid when he found out. or, at least he wasn't until his wife made it very clear that he was supposed to be livid.

at 5 years old cath found herself more terrified than she had ever been, despite her aunts attempts to quell her sisters anger and keep the little girl calm. she had never heard her mother use that word, the one teachers at ilvermorny kept scolding her brother for saying, the one her father whispered about the tall brunette that watched catherine while her parents were too busy. she didn't quite know what it meant yet but she new it was bad, very bad, and she knew she wouldn't be the only one being reprimanded for what happened in her aunts garden.

she might've been the only one hit that night but the pretty brown haired girl that used to play with her late into the evenings was soon replaced with a bitter old pureblooded spinster, something that she just knew had to be because of her pesky habit of eavesdropping.

so, while she nursed her arm, putting cool ice on the spot where her father had struck her, she realized three things:

1. you are not the only soul that has to suffer from the consequences of your actions.
2. mother thinks mudbloods make our actions unclean.
3. under no circumstances should a lady of her breeding stick her nose in places that did not concern it.

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just as she hadn't let her mother's overbearing nature let her be any less of a disappointment, cath hadn't let the painful feeling her father's heavy hands stop her from being more than a bit nosey.

though she had gotten much better at hiding it from her mother, she was still very much so interested in poking her nose into other peoples business, now she just new how important it is not to get caught.

she knew that snooping around without someone knowing was a rotten habitat to have, but it was just too damn addicting of a vice to kick. so it came as no surprise when the pesky teenage girl wound up finding her way into another rose bush, figuratively speaking of course.

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it had been a week or two since cath had chased remus out of the library with a one simple question.

'what about these? there's sure to be a story there.'

a week or two since things had been normal between the pair, so while things were still off cath had decided to act of some impulsive thoughts and had began observing things, things that seemed to confirm certain suspicions.

a mental checklist had began forming, consisting of some of remus' more peculiar behaviors: odd irritations, stupid fights, mood swings, cravings, and physical condition.

of course, she did realize that she was essentially stalking the boy but she explained it away to herself, and outweighed the creepier side of her behavior, through the presence of enough circumstantial evidence and her complete and utter need to know just what was going on with him.

'what would my mother think?'

she tried to play out what her mother would say to her if she ever found out that she spending her free time hooked on figuring out the ins and outs of some silly halfblood boy but she couldn't get her tone quite right. nothing she could say to herself seemed to have the same bite to it as everything othelka webster had ever uttered to her daughter.

'fantastic. i'm not even good at telling myself that i'm not good enough.'

soon enough though, she found herself being pulled from the make believe conversations currently running in her mind by a pair of familiar voices.

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anita and everett.

lilas new boyfriend had whisked her away as soon as she had sat down next to cath in the great hall, leaving the poor girl (almost) all alone with her thoughts.

"hey!"

"earth to cath?"

catherine, being greeted by the snapping hands of both hays siblings, looked up from her plate, letting the sounds of the great hall drown out the imaginary voice of her mother.

unbeknownst to her the two ravenclaws had made their way over to the gryfindor table only to find cath completely and utterly zoned out.

"you've been staring at that piece of toast for five minutes."
everett said, before promptly snatching said piece of toast from her plate and shoving it in his mouth. anita looked at him, the kind of disgust reserved only for siblings making itself clear on her face.
"you're such a pig ev."
"what? it's not like she was gonna eat it."
anita rolled her eyes at her brother before continuing.

"anyways, wanna go down to black lake with us? it's really nice out and it feels like we never see you anymore."
"yeah, you're always too busy making heart eyes at lupin."
"heart eyes? what are we? 7? i do not make heart eyes at anyone."
she pushed her food around her plate absentmindedly while speaking.
"remus and i just have similar interests and we run in the same circles, that's all."
"remus and i just have similar interests-"
"-we run in the same circles, that's all!" anita and everett both said in a high, mocking voice.
"sure cath, whatever you say. so, do you want to go with us or not?"
"sure, but-"
cath grabbed her bag and picked up a muffin from the table before standing up.
"-but i don't want to hear anything else about remus, there's nothing there!"
anita and everett just laughed in response to a clearly flustered catherine.