Stay! By My Side

Chapter 15

Shinichi's POV

"Hattori, do you think I should moved back here?"

I was inside the library along with Hattori and Kaito Kid. We were studying every cases ever recorded by my father. My mind keeps wandering anywhere unrelated to the files.

"I don't think it's a good idea. Why'd you ask? I wonder, are you having a fight with little Ai-chan?"

He teased me in every way possible. I'm shrugging my shoulder then put my chin on my right palm. Speaking of the devil, I haven't talked to her today.

"You could just go back to your beloved in the detective agency. You could still come here every weekend." Kaito kid joining the conversation.

"Not possible, I need somewhere close to the Professor's house. This house is the only one."

"Say, Kudo. She's getting better from her anxiety already, and yet why would you still at your guard?"

"She's getting better alright, but we don't really what's inside her mind. Agasa said I should give her space, that's why I need somewhere close but not too close as to stay in the same house."

"Why can't you be a little more sensible, Heiji. Our Shin-chan is being worried from the idea of losing the dear princess next door."

This Kaito kid, he keeps calling me by that nickname since I don't know when. Whatever, like I would care anymore, anyway. And lately, Hattori's been showing his suspiciousness towards my reaction everytime Haibara become our main subject of conversation. Gosh, this is getting silly.

"Listen you two, I have my own reason regarding Haibara."

"And the reason was?"

"I've told you countless times already, and stop giving me that look, Hattori. So like I've told you before, I'm certain that she'd been thinking of a stupid plan to put everything to an end."

"So Sherry-chan was really planning to turn herself in?"

"Careful with the name, Kid, the organization might have their ears everywhere"

"Not in this house, I can assure you"

"I know that. Just don't get used to it."

"Alright, alright. The princess, then"

"But staying here still wouldn't be a best choice, Kudo. People will start dig into the relation between Conan and Shinichi. All you have to do is to be less clingy than you are right now."

Clingy? No I'm not.

"Stop your self-denial, Shin-chan, get a hold of yourself already."

"Just whatever guys, I lose my interest on these files. It's almost dinner I should go back."

"Kudo," Hattori hold my shoulder with a serious expression on his face.  "Try to ask yourself about what would it be to you if that little miss were disappeared from your life, then you would truly understand your state right now"

"She wouldn't, Hattori. I will make that a certain truth and there's only one truth."

I left Kudo Mansion and back to the next door. She won't disappear before my eyes, ever. I will track you everywhere in this world, Haibara, so beware.

"Kudo-kun,"

Gosh, she startled me.

"You look upset. Where have you been? Professor told me you went to the agency to pick up some stuff and yet you back with empty hands."

"Aaah, yes, looks like I forgot to bring it. I should go back to the agency later then, but now I'm kind of starving so let's have our dinner first."

"Are you stupid? How could you forgot such thing. You're not hiding anything from me again, aren't you?"

"Huh? Look who's talking."

I followed her to the table and take my seat next to her. How long have we been like this exactly? Doing things synchronously, a bunch of inside jokes, teasing each other badly, and finishing each other's sentences. What am I gonna do when she's not around.

Try to ask yourself, Kudo...

....was what Hattori said. I felt a sudden drop in my chest, like it was being dragged down by something heavy.

When she's not around..

..what would I said to the kids. And the Professor would be all alone again. And...

I instinctively hold her wrist when she's moving up from her seat.

"What now? Am I not allowed to go to the toilet?"

"Sorry. I just do it out of habit"

The vision of her not being here showering me with fear. Indeed, I never thought about it once before. But it's because something like that was never going to happen. Why would she run from the organization if she wasn't going to stay anyway? The thing like she's not belonged in here is just all in her mind. I teach her not to runaway from fate. And hers is being here with all of us. Safe and sound.

"Shinichi, looks like you were right about Ai-kun. You know, this morning I tried to dig in as you asked. But she saw right through me because of my awful act."

No. Even though the professor did better to cover it up, she would know anyway. As expected from a sharp-witted scientist.

"What did you do then?" I asked despite already being conscious of what could possibly happened.

"She told me about how she's relying too much on you these whole time. And that she's afraid she might be late to pull you out of their claws."

"So she really did plan on going aimlessly. She really has the wrong idea of accepting her fate. Why can't she just stay still. She's not running away like before, indeed, but this doesn't lead her to the right way either. Gosh, I'm so done with her"

"Keep it down, Shinichi. We never really know what's inside one's heart."

"She's getting far away, Professor. She's still here but we're not being like-minded as we used to be."

"She just couldn't bear the idea of losing you, Shinichi. It makes her being unreasonable. I'm a failure as an adult, I don't know how to convince her to back in her right mind."

"So she thought she's the only one being distressed of the idea of losing? Then what about us? If she's really gone, are we gonna easily live our life like nothing happened? Did she really think it would be possible? Oh give me a break, for God's sake."

"So what are we gonna do, Shinichi?"

"It's plain, Professor, I'm not gonna take my eyes off of her. You better do the same thing."