HIStory 3.5: Make Our Days Count: Love's Sacrifice

The Conversation

As he was walking into the living room where Sun Bo was on the phone, Zhi Gang could see that his boyfriend, who normally was so stoic about most things, was visibly shaken after the conversation with his friend, Li Si Yu.

"Babe, dinner is ready."

Sun Bo was so deep in thought he did not realize Zhi Gang was standing in front of him. His mind was busy processing so many things that popped into his head all at once after seeing the picture. The immediate concern was 'should he tell Zhi Gang.' 

 Yu Shi Gu was like his little brother and when he died, although no one was allowed to attend the funeral, Zhi Gang grieved like an older brother. Even now, each year since the accident, Zhi Gang continues to hold the memorial of Yu Shi Gu's death in their apartment.

"Babe...Sun Bo... are you okay? What did Li Si Yu have to tell you that was so urgent?" 

Zhi Gang asked with the beginnings of worry in his mind. He had been standing in front of Sun Bo for a couple minutes and he could tell that Sun Bo did not realize that Zhi Gang was in the room.

Snapping out of this thoughts, Sun Bo hoped the face he was showing disguised the uncertainty he was feeling. He still needed time to process what would be his next move but he also knew that if he gave any indication that something major was wrong, Zhi Gang would not let it go and so he answered, "Nothing major, just something about one of our high school classmates. We can talk about it after dinner."

Putting his characteristic smile on his face, he stood up from the couch and reverse hugged his lover and together they walked into the kitchen to eat dinner. Sun Bo made sure to treat this dinner like the others, asking about Zhi Gang's day, sharing with Zhi Gang his day at work, complimenting Zhi Gang on his cooking skills and ending the conversation like usual snuggled up together on the couch asking Zhi Gang the same question he asked since Zhi Gang's dad gave his approval to their relationship two years ago... "when are we going to get married?"

Looking at Sun Bo, Zhi Gang asked, "why do you ask this same question every day?"

"The better question," Sun Bo asked, "is why haven't you given me an answer?"

"We're already pretty much married," answered Zhi Gang, grabbing Sun Bo's hand and looking at their matching rings. "We live together. You parents approve of me. My family finally approves of you. Granted, your family approved of me faster than my family, but I'm happy, you're happy, we're happy. Why do we need to get married?"

Sun Bo knew this would be Zhi Gang's response. Sun Bo also knew that his lover was not answering because he did not love him or want to marry him, but because he was fearful. Zhi Gang was scared that although his family had approved of their relationship, a wedding might be too much too fast for Zhi Gang's conservative father. Acknowledging something within the family is different than announcing it to the entire world. While Zhi Gang did not care about anyone knowing how much he loved Sun Bo, regardless of their gender and age difference, he still was not sure his father shared the same thoughts. It had taken two years for Sun Bo to be able to call Zhi Gang's father, dad, even then, only in private.

"Because I want you to know that I'm ready and willing whenever you say yes. I want the world to know that I intend to grow old and gray with you. Granted you'll be gray before me, but I'll still love you."

Punching Sun Bo lovingly, Zhi Gang said, "let's talk about something else."

Sun Bo recognized there was no good transition into talking about the conversation he had with Li Si Yu. However, he did know that the foundation of his relationship with Zhi Gang was trust and honesty, no secrets. They have been able to deal with the obstacles they have faced thus far in their relationship by always sticking to those principles even when doing so caused momentary hurt or pain. For Sun Bo and Zhi Gang that's what being in a relationship meant, sharing the highs and lows, persevering through the good and the bad, together...united. As a result, Sun Bo knew there was no way that he could keep the information he received from Li Shi Yu a secret from Zhi Gang.

"Does it still hurt when you think of Yu Shi Gu?"

"Wow, what a transition? I guess that's what I get for suggesting it, but you're talking about all the heavy hitters tonight?"

Intertwining their hands and looking off into the distance, Zhi Gang continued, "To answer your question, yeah it still hurts. Not as much as it did before. I think about when we do get married that he will not be there to celebrate with us. I think about the tough life he lived and just when it appeared, he was going to have some happiness, it was taken away so unexpectedly. I think about what he and Hao Ting would have been like as fathers. Wait a minute, why are you asking me about Yu Shi Gu?"

Intentionally not answering the question, Sun Bo asked another question, "If you knew something that had the potential to both bring joy and sorrow for someone you loved but you had no control over which it was, would you share it or keep it to yourself?"

Looking at Sun Bo, Zhi Gang asked, "which would be greater, joy or sorrow?"

"Potentially equal measures of both, but it's hard to say" was Sun Bo's reply.

"Me, I would say share. I choice to believe that if it's 50/50 either way that the universe and fate will always take the side of joy." Looking again at Sun Bo, Zhi Gang asked, "Why, which would you pick?"

Sun Bo did not answer, instead he reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. As Zhi Gang looked at him inquisitively, he opened the photo app and showed Zhi Gang the photo of Yu Shi Gu that Li Si Yu had sent him. It took Zhi Gang a few seconds to process what he was seeing.

Sitting up, questioningly, he asked "Yu Shi Gu?" Sun Bo just nodded yes in response.

Some of the same questions that flooded Sun Bo's mind when he first saw the picture were now being asked by Zhi Gan... "When was this taken? Is this recent? This looks recent? This can't be recent."

And so, Sun Bo Xiang shared everything Li Si Yu recounted about her café encounter two days ago. Unable to hold back his tears, Zhi Gang just looked at the phone's screen and cried. Now both Sun Bo and Zhi Gang were certain the person in the picture was Yu Shi Gu and he was alive. The real question now was, what do we do? All they had to go on was this picture and the address of the café where he was seen. There were so many unanswered questions but the first question that had to be answered for certain, was, is it even possible for Yu Shi Gu to be alive? The best person to answer that question would be Yu Shi Gu's aunt, but no one they knew has had any contact with her after Yu Shi Gu's death. Plus, it would be too weird to contact Hao Ting or his family looking for Yu Shi Gu's family contact information. How would you explain why you need it?

That's when it hit Sun Bo, "Death certificate. If we can get a copy of his death certificate it could verify that he did die and it would also have his next of kin listed. But not being family, how do we get access to it?"

"I know someone who, hopefully, can help us." And with that statement, Zhi Gang began dialing a number on his phone.

Sun Bo knew exactly who Zhi Gang was calling, "Do you think he can help us?"

"It could not hurt to ask. If not, I'm sure he can give us some advice on what to do next or who we can contact."

Zhi Gang's friend was a police detective. He and Zhi Gang were friends before Zhi Gang meet Sun Bo but since Zhi Gang and Sun Bo have been together they've had several double dates with dinner and drinks.

"Ni hao, this is Zhi Gang, how have you been?"

Zhi Gang was on the phone for several minutes trying to arrange a lunch meeting with his detective friend for the next day. Zhi Gang and Sun Bo knew the more time that past, the more likely it was for the trail to grow cold. At first, their hopes of meeting were dashed when the friend said that he already had lunch plans for the next day. One of the detective's friends was visiting briefly from the U.S. However, the detective was sure that his friend would not object to their lunch being a quartet, if Sun Bo and Zhi Gang were open to the idea. Their detective friend would take care of telling his friend the time and place. The other three, Zhi Gang, Sun Bo and the detective, all agreed to meet 30 minutes earlier in order for Zhi Gang and Sun Bo to have time to explain the situation and ask him the favor regarding the death certificate.