HIStory 3.5: Make Our Days Count: Love's Sacrifice

Coffee and the Park

Zhi Gang and Yu Shi Gu were seated on a bench under the shaded canopy of a series of large trees that defined the edge of the park they had selected.  Just in front of them, sporadic couples and singles could be seen getting exercise as they walked along the walking path, while past the path, sprawled out on the finely manicured lawn there were more couples and singles picnicking, studying, sleeping or just enjoying the nice weather.  On the way to the park they had stopped at a food truck located near the park and picked up some steamed buns that would serve as their lunch for today, a drastic difference from the upscale menu at the restaurant they had abruptly departed.  In any event, this was the backdrop in which Zhi Gang would gauge just how well the person, he considered to be his little brother, was actually doing.  This was his primary purpose.  It had only been a couple days since he realized that the person, he believed had died years earlier, was still alive and sitting with him now on a park bench munching on steam buns. 

Zhi Gang had decided that he would wait until Yu Shi Gu was ready to talk, before he mentioned anything about the scene at the restaurant.  Even Zhi Gang was surprised to see Hao Ting there with his entire family, so, Zhi Gang could understand if Yu Shi Gu was in a state of shock right now.  It definitely would not have been the best time or place for a reunion. 

Turning to Zhi Gang, with tears visibly in his eyes, the simple words, "I miss him" was how Yu Shi Gu started the conversation. Placing his steam bun beside him on the bench, Zhi Gang slid closer before putting his arms around Yu Shi Gu and simply consoled his little brother as he sobbed quietly.  No words were spoken, instead Zhi Gang provided him the shoulder Yu Shi Gu needed to begin releasing over 6 years' worth of sorrow.

Finally, after he was all cried out, "I'm sorry.  I don't know where all of this came from" as Yu Shi Gu wiped his eyes.

"It's okay," Zhi Gang responded, "You have been dealing with this by yourself for a while now.  I'm sorry that I was not there to help you through this.  I can't imagine what all you have had to deal with."

Zhi Gang had originally planned to wait on asking this question and hopefully in asking he didn't cause his brother even more heartache, but now seemed an appropriate time, "Are you still in love with Xiang Hao Ting?"

Yu Shi Gu could only nod his head in agreement afraid that if he spoke the words aloud it would trigger another round of tears.  Although his aunt knew the truth, Zhi Gang was the first person that Yu Shi Gu could openly admit the fact that he was still as much in love with Hao Ting now as he was 6 years ago.  Yu Shi Gu had already accepted that he would probably always love Hao Ting. 

Yu Shi Gu began, "I've often asked myself, 'who really meets their soul's mate in high school?'  So many high schoolers think that they will be with their boyfriend or girlfriend forever, but eventually, they graduate.  They begin to experience the world and grow into themselves while often also growing apart.  They meet new people and the past love fades into a pleasant memory.  However, it's been 6 years and my memories of being with Hao Ting haven't faded.  I can't imagine myself loving someone else as much as I love him."

"Yu Shi Gu, if you still love him that much, shouldn't you tell him" asked Zhi Gang.  "I understand why you felt you couldn't before but holding all these emotions inside cannot be good for you."

A stoic Yu Shi Gu responds, "Zhi ge, it's been 3 years.  What right do I have to upset Hao Ting's life?  He's moved on."

"How can you be sure Hao Ting has moved on.  Today was the first time you've seen him in over 3 years."

"Zhi ge, today wasn't the first time I've seen Hao Ting."

With a questioning look on his face, Zhi Gang asked, "What? I'm lost. When?"