In His Eyes

Hit

Scott:

Now don't get me wrong. I don't want to die, I have no desire to kill myself. However, the power I feel holding that small blade in my fingers and knowing that I hold my life in my hands. That power is like none I have ever felt before. It's like I suddenly feel in charge of my life and for the first time ever I don't feel like I'm being over powered, not by my mother, father or anyone else in my pointless life.

One slice is all it would take. Just one. One smooth motion.

So I keep pressing down on my arm with the sharp blade, harder and harder until blood starts to drip down my arm. Then I stop. No slices. Only one large dig. I put the blade in the sink and watch the blood start to come out of my marked skin in little droplets. I smile slightly before running my arm under the cold tap and putting a bandaid over the cut, then I leave the room and lay on the couch. I feel at peace.

Then my phone lights up and buzzes loudly.

Unknown: so you're a carver now. So much for being a medical student.

Unknown: want me to come end your life for you. You wont need razor blades anymore fag.

Unknown: you have five days to fuck off and leave the dying fag before I come speed up the process for both of you.

Unknown: the timer starts now Scott Hoying.

I read the messages slowly, then I read them again even slower. He knows about the blade. How is that possible? And he says he is going to kill us.

My eyes screw shut in confusion. my left hand pulls at my hair. My feet tap against the floor as my legs shake.

What the fuck am I going to do?

"Scott! I was thinking of going to see Mitch later! He's coming home tomorrow," mrs Grassi announces walking into the room with a coffee in her left hand and Amelia-Jane holding her right. "Amelia is desperate to see him." She says emailing and sitting next to me. Amelia crawls onto the floor and plays with her dolls quietly, she doesn't talk much for a three year old.

"That would be nice Mrs Grassi, thank you." I say, putting on a happy face when inside I am being torn limb from limb in an excruciatingly painful manner.