To the Butterflies and Peonies 《Demon Slayer》

3. To Continue An Imaginary

"Nee-san!" Kanae's eyes continued to focus on her sword, polishing the beautiful blade used for slashing a demon's head off cleanly. The white rag in her hand delicately careful in not cutting herself from its impressive sharpness. From the reflection of the blade, placing the cloth down on the wooden patio, her eyes caught sight of her sister's impatient expression. It caused her lips to curl into a small smile.

"Nee-san!" Shinobu called out again, only this time, with less patience.

Kanae craned her head to look over to her sister. "Yes, Shinobu?" She asked innocently, noting the small irk on her sister's forehead with a chuckle.

"We've received a message from the Kasugai Crow that our next mission will be in Koenji," the Insect Hashira informed in a serious tone, constrasting her sister's lighthearted way of speaking. Her lips twisted into a grudging frown.

Kanae didn't miss the relented look on her younger sister's face. "Then what's the matter? It makes me sad if you always frown for something you're not telling me." It did wonders how much her flattery had effect on Shinobu, yet it still irked her no less.

Shinobu huffed, exaggerating the irritation breathing through her lungs, which always amused the sister to an extent. "It's about letting Tomioka-san join us! We can do well on our own, so there's no reason to bring him with us!" She stated her reason, asserting her opinion with the dirty look in her eyes and scowl presented instead.

The Flower Hashira giggled quietly, a knowing glance shared with her sister, who didn't understand what she meant. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her older sister, who innocently grinned, as she stopped cleaning her blade entirely. She closed her eyes for a moment as she hummed before flickering them open.

"What's wrong with Giyuu-san coming with us? It doesn't sound bad," Kanae cheekily hummed. "You don't need to act so tough around him. I'm sure if you just share your pretty smile every once in a while, he'll warm up to you."

Shinobu's expression became flabbergasted at Kanae's words. Flustered, she just yelled at her. "Nee-san, this isn't what I meant! Why would I ever want to hang around someone who like him?!"

"Now now, don't be like that." Kanae waved her hand with cloth still held. Placing her sword back into its sheath after one final inspection and placing the white rag next to it, she clapped her hands together as she brought them up to rest on her cheek. "There's nothing wrong in being shy with telling your Nee-san about anything. I promise that I will fully support your feelings for him." Her lips curled up when she watched Shinobu's face flared up. From embarassment or anger, she couldn't tell but it was entertaining.

However, her smile faltered down and she glanced back down at the blade next to her once more. Her hands unclasped from each other when she moved to hold the hilt of her sword. The moment her hand gripped her sword, in a blink of an eye her surroundings changed. The sheath covering the blade gone and the luxurious gleam her blade had after cleaning it disappeared. Coating the blade were splatters of blood instead of the shimmer of sparkles.

The lively conversation that carried the atmosphere around her and her sister took an overturn when everything became a blur. The once peaceful memory of her and her sister immediately digressed and faded into a distany illusion. Her throat parched and dry when the setting of the Butterfly Estate faded out into the same district she witnessed everything crumbled for her.

The crumbling of her sister's life as she watched that dreaded demon rob her life away like it was candy.

The distinct reality of her sister cradled in her other arm, bleeding from the unmistaken wound pierced through her body. Streams of blood trailed down her lips with the look of pain dwindling in her eyes. Her hands shakily clutching hers with fading warmth, the beating of her heart slowing. It agonized Kanae to no bitter end that she dared... pitied that demon who killed her.

It didn't matter during the time when she was attacked with her own injuries, though not fatal, ached through her system or the bleeding across her body. It was the undeserving sadness and love under the tears of her Shinobu's eyes. Even when she knew the sympathy the older Kochou carried for the demon, she continued to support her understandings.

Kanae felt her eyes almost brimmed with tears from the amount of guilt. She didn't like the way she believed in her after the foolish belief she had. She hated herself for the shame of still wanting that dream after the Upper Moon took her sister's chance of a normal life away. Every time she closed her eyes, she wondered about the shameful look her sister would've given her. The pain of betrayal in them for pitying the damned creature.

Douma, an empty vessel of a demon who smiled emotionlessly. Someone who couldn't even lift a finger to care and a heart that possibly never worried with emotions at all. What kind of monster deserved pity? She must've been crazy to still feel them that she wanted to smile. To smile and cry at the flurries of emotions wreaking havoc.

Obviously, this wouldn't stop her from killing him. It was her job as a Hashira and a demon slayer, after all. But that didn't stop her from swirling down her endless self-shame and pain for the single mistake that caused Shinobu's life and-

Tap. Tap.

Kanae jumped from her position, glancing back down to see the empty bowl placed in front of her, the chopsticks neatly placed on top. Next to it was a fair hand curled gently, her eyes following the owner of the hand to be the Love Hashira, who's face expressed concern.

"Kanae-chan," Mitsuri worriedly mentioned. "Are you okay? You weren't saying anything and... you looked sad." In front of the pink-green haired girl were a dozen of bowls stacked up, making Kanae thought about how long she'd been dazed. The words lurched in her throat to answer her - a close friend and Hashira - about the inner turmoil bleeding in her chest. The pain of how she felt and the unbelievable idea that began to burn her instead of helping her.

Kanae, despite the plentiful of options, shook her head and pleasantly grinned brightly for Mitsuri. "It's nothing  Mitsuri-chan! I was just thinking about what other dishes I would love to try!" She was aware of the concern still lingering despite her white lie. She couldn't say it. She shouldn't let them know. "Mitsuri-chan, what are the other amazing omurices I should try? I would gladly pay for suddenly zoning out. I'm sorry for that!"

Mitsuri bought her words when she continued to bargain with her with food. "There's no need for that, Kanae-chan! Let me decide on the omurice for you instead! You'll really like this one!" As she began chatting away happily, hopefully burying the conversation under the rug for now, Kanae inwardly clenched her teeth with her smile still perfect.

She couldn't say it. It wasn't her time to share the pain. It was her fault for digging her own burdens in the first place.