To the Butterflies and Peonies 《Demon Slayer》

8. The Past Is A Known River

"Flower Breathing Fourth Form: Crimson Hanagoromo."

Kanae swiped her blade once more for the neck. The movement agile and graceful, as it should be when the flash of pink burned into the night, an after-trail of its glow left in the wind. It swiped so easily through the demon, taking in the slow reaction of its head rolling off its body and slamming to the ground. She jolted her sword back, some of the blood shook off the metal blade and sheathed back.

Her pale purple orbs observed the demon's body disintegrating agonizingly. From the corner of her eyes, it fell towards the decapitated head that only screeched disdain. That wasn't what caught her attention though. Blocking out the empty death threats as it's body crumbled into ashes and dust, it was the very look of fear clouding their eyes.

How could she not recognize it? She's seen it through her own eyes as a demon slayer, as well as experienced the very feeling itself.

I don't want to die. Who hasn't thought of this when their lives are on the line? It was honestly pitiful in her shoes to watch the body disappear, leaving the head next to bite the dust. It's threats instantly changing into pleads of forgiveness and begs of mercy. It was... heartbreaking to the hashira.

The staggered and stiffed stature the head began reacting, unable to do anything to prevent its agonizing demise. It always dawned on her how humane they become once the special blade slashes through their cold bodies. She could never forget the look of judgement and realization in their eyes because in the end, they were once human beings.

Grief and longing, she noted solemnly in their frantic eyes as they faded into mere dust particles.

"I want to live..." It's voice echoed through her mind in the melancholic mist before it was cleared from her mind. It left a distasteful churn writhing in the pit of her stomach, softly pursing her lips at the empty spot. There wasn't anything she could say now. It wasn't as if she was naive to let the demon live if she wanted to.

Through and through, a demon slayer she is, after all.

She's no fool. Well, not entirely a fool. The Flower Breath User turned away from the spot and looked on into the sky. Just in the nick of time, orange crept up the darkness as the sun peeked from the end of the world. A breathtaking sight after another grueling and pitiful encounter that quirked a smile on her face.

A screech wailed through the air, snatching her attention to above her head. The charcoal bird flew in circles while yelling repetitious 'return back to the Demon Slayer Corps' that meant she has already done her task. Luring the demon out into the forest after he attempted to attack one of the young girls living in the village (who ran from her home) was easier said than done, but it was one of the weaker demons besides the point. A weak demon who only wanted to live.

The crow glided closer when she raises her arm to him, perching himself onto it as she gently petted his feathers, earning herself a soft 'coo' in return. It reminded her of the time she received the very same bird along with Shinobu during their entrance exam in Fujikasane Mountain. The first time she quickly raised her hand to pet back the crow's back, watching it relax under her gentle gesture.

Her sister tentatively stared in amazement, looking between the crow and her sister. Curiosity gleamed in her violet eyes - something Kanae found herself smiling at. The first time they passed the harsh reality of the Final Selection thanks to their training with Gyomei. They were both indebted in his actions in saving them before they ended up dying along with their parents.

She took her pale spheres away from the animal and her sister before glancing up towards the sky. The settings shifting from the early blue hues of dawn back into the rising sun as the wisteria flowers faded into the dark forest trees. Her crow rested back on her arm instead of Shinobu's and the younger ravenette faded along with the scene.

Kanae shook her head, sighing at the umpteenth time her mind travelled to the long memories tucked away. "I shouldn't keep on thinking about this..." she frowned to herself. It's to her luck that the sun has risen or this type of vulnerability could wind her dead on that exact spot by a demon. A lot of them lost their sense of empathy so they aren't forgiving like her.

The Kasugai crow flew off from her and darted to the direction of the Demon Slayer Corps, circling around when it got a few distances away from the adolescent. Kanae looked over to the village before continuing forward to begin her trip home. However, what stopped her in her tracks was the small tug from her patterned haori.

She tilted her head down, blinking when she found herself staring at the same young girl that got attacked. Her beady, teary eyes staring up at the demon slayer with a few sniffs and hiccups. Immediately, she pounced on the hashira, surprising her as she buried her head into her abdomen. She softly patted the girl's head, trying to stop her tears and cries.

"I-I'm so sorry, Onee-chan!" She cried, muffled through the uniform.

Kanae smiled softly at the little girl, craning her face gently to face her to wipe away the tears with her thumb. "Shh... it's okay now. You don't need to worry about me. How about you? Are you hurt anywhere?" She watched her taking heavy breaths in an attempt to calm herself down.

"I'm... I'm okay," she whimpered before she started tearing up again. "But because of me...! Because of me, you almost... Onee-san..." Her hypervenilating stopped her from finishing her sentence as a set of new fresh tears began once more. Nothing more was needed to be said for the Kochou to understand, combing her hair back with her hand. The look in her eyes striking a familiar sense of helplessness she felt when her parents died in front of her. She didn't want the child to feel what she felt.

She didn't want anybody to feel that sense of dread.

"Cheer up," Kanae's voice laced with warmth and an underlying tenderness in it. "Onee-san is fine, see? It makes me feel sad when I see you crying. You wouldn't want Onee-san to feel sad, don't you?"

The girl rapidly shook her head side to side, wiping up her tears with the sleeve of her pajamas. "N-No..."

She smiled assuringly, pulling away before crouching down to her height. "It would make Onee-san really happy if you started smiling too!" She urged her, a satisfying feeling swirled in her chest when the child stopped her tears. "Please, smile for me?"

The young child nodded, sniffing the last time before a shaky smile made its way up her face.

"See?" Kanae smiled brightly this time, something the little girl mirrored in delight.

"Sunako?! Sunako, where are you?!" A woman's voice wailed from beyond the trees. It was soon followed by a few other voices until the woman came into view by the two, her eyes filled with fear and worry until it was washed away with relief.

"Kaachan!" The child hopped out from her hands and ran up to her mother, circling her arms around her neck and brought into a loving embrace. Another person who looked to be her older sister ran over and joined the embrace, tears streaming down their faces and relieved smiles sketched on their faces.

Kanae's heart both melted and ached at once at the bittersweet sight. She stand back up and stared at the reunited family. Each time she blinked, she almost felt herself tearing up, unsure if it's from the painful nostalgia or the happy reunion. Instead, she sent them a final smile before turning on her heels, walking to the direction of her crow, who'd been waiting for her.

She'll settle her decision on the happy reunion. She couldn't keep letting her past and past mistakes take over. Not when it would jeopadized the missions. She should start putting off the feelings of nostalgia behind when duty calls. After all...

The past is a known river everybody must cross. However, everybody must stumble into the streams of memories once in a while.