Battle of the Killers

120 | Crying & Cheerleading

EYES. The feel of her eyes on my back made me quickly turn my attention off the family tree to a tree that had blossoming white flowers emerging from it. "T-these are so beautiful," I said before faking a smile. "You take really good care of your plants."

"Thank you, and I do," Chi said with a proud expression. "I've loved flowers and plants ever since I was a little girl. My boyfriends used to say I had a green clit," she said on a squeaky laugh. "They're my passion. My world. Just looking at them makes me feel a million different emotions, and they're all good."

A memory of my mother bubbled to the surface. "Yeah, my mother loved flowers too. I used to help her in the garden."

"What type of flowers did she grow?"

"Light pink roses."

"Those mean innocence and appreciation, but also gentleness," Chi said, spraying. "Yet their gentleness can also make them sympathetic beings. People who enjoy that rose are usually gentle-natured people."

Images of my dead family and a bloody hammer go through my head. "Um yeah, she was gentle sometimes."

"Nature, especially flowers are so therapeutic," Chi said, fixing one of her vines. "When I look at them, no matter my mood, they always make me smile. I think it's because I always feel like their petals are smiling back at me."

"I can see that," I said, touching the petal of a blossoming lily.

"It's like their a friend," Chi said, face glowing as her lips moved. "Always watching and listening. Protecting you by becoming prettier every day, shielding you from the loneliness and depression — little blossomcatchers my granny used to call them."

"They catch all the bad things," I whispered, catching on.

"And they're always there, never leaving you behind," Chi said, caressing a petal. "And your relationship with them is never toxic, only airy and soothing."

"Toxic," I said, thinking she was hinting at Gmie.

"Gmie. Our whole relationship was a mess, but it's not surprising. I never could attract genuine people in my life. They either use me or spoil me. Neither is a good thing." Her pretty hands squeezed around the spray bottle. "I just hate how she's so uppity yet thinks I'm trash. Me? Trash. I worked my ass off to look and get where I'm at today. I'm sorry if God blessed me with a gorgeous body and face. I used what he gave me to survive in this twisted, fucked up world, and I'm sorry if I like sucking and riding dick. Why do people have to judge me for it?"

I watched her ramble, seeing so many different emotions play across her features, but underneath, I saw the underlying issue — loneliness. I think since the internet's gone and she didn't have Aries or her fans anymore, she had no human interaction. Nothing.

And when you're all alone, drenched in your own ideas and thoughts, things that you didn't think bothered you anymore come back, and demons start to whisper raw truths and sugary lies. Old hurts and insecurities resurface like a serial killer coming off a hiatus, and life becomes bleak.