The Hot chocolate Book Review Center(Closed for good)

Review#164

The Kiss List by: WriterKidWhiz
Requested by: WriterKidWhiz

First off, I want to talk about the cover of the book. I loved the cover of the book. It's interesting and it tells you what the book is going to be about just by looking at it.

Next I want to talk about the summary of the book. The summary I thought was good. But I also felt like it needed some work as well. First, I felt like it was a bit odd how in the summary that the main character Carrie, doesn't know  Jacob at first but is somehow dating him when it was, like I said before, that she didn't know him. It can be a bit confusing to readers if you put in two different sentences where one sentence says that Carrie doesn't know Jacob and then a few lines later say that she's dating him. This could have been solved if it was fixed to where it said that she met him or had it to where she already was dating him so it doesn't get confusing.

I also felt like if you redid the summary (keep in mind, that this is only a suggestion.), it could maybe be something like this for example:

Carrie is a high school senior with two amazing best friends and a completely normal family. During her first day of senior year, she meets Jacob (or you could put that she's dating Jacob as well if you wanted), who at first she doesn't like. But one night, while Carrie and her friends are having a sleepover, they make a kiss list of boys they want to kiss or not. But when the kiss list (and when Jacob cheats on her) gets out, her life seems to be falling apart while she deals with her parents divorce, her brother moving out and on top of that, someone blackmailing her. She isn't sure if her life is going to get better or worse but maybe with a little bit of luck, she'll make it to the end of senior year.

Next is pacing and plot of the story. The plot I thought was interesting and the concept of a kiss list was quite unique even though there are similar ideas to it here on Wattpad but none had involved a kiss list as far as I have seen on Wattpad. So it was nice to see it here. The pacing I felt was rushed just a bit and I wish it was slowed down just a tiny bit so I had more time to learn about the world and it's characters.

There wasn't really any grammar errors that I could find in the story, so nice job on that.

Next I want to talk about the setting, writing structure and characters of the book. The settings was described in the story were good and writing structure was pretty good as well. But the characters is what I really want to talk about in this next paragraph. The characters I felt were one dimensional and there wasn't a lot going for them other than them creating the kiss list, being friends and the main character's problems which don't seem to involve her friends a whole lot other than the kiss list and the sleepover. I wish there was more character to them along with more backstory cause I wasn't really interested in what was happening to them and I felt disconnected from them all together. I also noticed that in the first chapter that she doesn't know Jacob despite the fact in the summary that it says she meets him and then it saying that she dates and gets cheated on by him. Like I said earlier in the review, this can make it confusing cause we only see or get mention of Jacob is in the first two or three chapters and in the first couple chapters, it's also confusing cause she acted like she didn't know him and then acts like she does even though she just met him like the day before like nothing happened.

Most people don't act like this in real life unless they somehow mistake them for someone else or forgot who they were for a second or just never really talked to them before especially if it's their first encounter with one another in the hallway after he spilled paint on her. So if they were, like I said dating, the scene where he spills paint on her clothes in the hallway and meeting her for the first time, wouldn't really make sense either because they obviously would known each other by then. I felt like that you either changed your mind on having them date from the start and not have them dating or will add in a scene where they maybe fake date or whatever and would lead into him cheating on her. Also, I want to talk about Carrie's family. Carrie at the beginning of the story mentions that she's got her life planned out with her brother when her plans don't seem to include her brother whatsoever to begin so I found that an odd choice of wording there. Also we don't really get see how close they are other than he scolding her for swearing and her talking to him. Which is fine, but it was like the only scene where we see them together in the beginning and nowhere else. Like after that he vanished, due to the story being mostly at school. Wish we got to see more of him, since if he does move out of the house, like the summary says, then it would make it even more emotional when the time comes, cause then I would gotten to know him as a character and as a person by that point.

Also, I only saw the mom in the story and no sign of the dad so far in the story, so I am not sure he gets introduced later on and that's where the divorce plot point happens or not but I wish I also saw more of the mom other than that scene and more of the dad to show more of the family dynamic between Carrie and her family so it's even emotional like I said in the story so I could care more about those characters.

Overall, the story was pretty good and the concept for it was interesting and I would recommend it to anyone who loves reading books like it.

Thanks for letting me review your book.

-Traveler_lilly