Three years after his mother's death, Noah Reed is lost once again. Unsure of where to go after running from his problems for so long, he ends up back home, wanting a place to finally settle down. He's ready to tie up loose ends and to try and corre...
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"I saw him."
I don't mean to say the words out loud. The last thing I was to talk about is what happened yesterday at the café. Though it seems my mind has other ideas, as I haven't been able to stop thinking about the encounter since it happened.
I thought I'd finally reached a point where I could stop thinking about Noah Reed. I was finally able to stop torturing myself over the past, to forget how much I had loved him and how much he had hurt me. That chapter of my life had closed, and I had started to write a new one.
Who would have thought that one fleeting moment of time that united my past and my present would reopen the chapter of my life I had previously closed, making me feel like maybe it isn't quite over after all?
"You saw who?" Jess asks from her side of the room, completely oblivious to what I'm talking about. I study my newly-blond friend as she stares down at the open manuscript in her lap, skimming over the lines she needs to memorize for her audition.
I wish I could take the words back and simply move on. If I'm being honest, I don't want to think about Noah. I don't want to think back on our past or the love we shared. I don't want to think about how bittersweet it was to fall for him or how strong our bond had been. I don't want to remember what it had been like to lose him, or how it felt to have him slowly become a stranger before my very eyes. I don't want to recall the feeling of looking him in the eyes and telling him he could either love me or lose me, and have him choose to lose me for good.
So why can't I stop thinking about what it had been like to see him again after all this time? Why can't I stop obsessing over how much he has changed, yet how much he still seems the same? Why doesn't my mind want to let go of the fact that three years has passed, yet in that moment Noah and I were definitely living in the past?
Maybe if I just talk about it and get everything off of my chest, then maybe I can finally stop thinking about him. What happened in the café can become nothing more than a run-in with an ex in my memory, and I can move on. Because that's what I deserve, right? To move on.
I guess that why I admit, "Noah."
This gets Jess's attention. "What?" she cries, jumping up from her bed and rushing over to me. "When? Where? How long ago? What happened? What did he say? What did you say? What did—"
"Jess!" I interrupt. "I can't answer you if you keep hurling questions at me!"
"Tell me everything!" Jess sputters. "I can't believe you didn't already tell me. Oh my God, are you okay?"
I inhale a sharp breath before nodding. "I'm fine," I tell Jess, semi-meaning the words. Other than the fact that I haven't been able to stop thinking about Noah since I ran into him, I suppose I am.
"So?" Jess prompts. "What happened?"
I don't even have to think as I tell her the story. I start by telling her about my date with Dylan/ Shamelessly, I admit that I'd been daydreaming about Noah, to which Jess raises her eyebrows. I slowly fall into a daze as I explain what it had been like to see Noah after all this time.
