Hiraeth | Regulus Black

Chapter Sixty Nine

Hogwarts was tightly in the grips of chilly November, and the leaves on the trees had turned amber and were started to flutter down to the ground.
An uncomfortable normality surrounded Esme that was slowing the passing of time to an almost unbearable rate.

Regulus was regularly training with his quidditch team, and were now on a very impressive winning streak through all the friendly games they'd played.
Dirk was ensuring they were all up to date with their studies and, so far, had done a successful job of reigning in Esme from mocking Andrea Goodman and the other Prefects who Esme warranted deserving of being "taken down a peg or two."

The wider wizarding world seemed to far away, and the threat of the Death Eaters were almost a memory from the past.
Up in the castle in Scotland, Esme felt so removed from everything that really mattered. As time continued to pass, and leaves continued to fall and winter grew nearer, she almost felt as though she had lost all of the importance in her life. Sometimes it seemed as though Esme had become another typical student and that she was so insignificant in relation to the wider world.

Esme wanted to be doing something meaningful, anything that would make a positive difference. Yet the days continued to roll by and all she was left with to occupy herself with was her own thoughts.
As anyone who has spent any significant period of time trapped in their own mind will understand, that can lead you down a precarious rabbit hole.

"You have much on your mind." Dumbledore peered over the top of his half-moon spectacles as he looked down at the girl.
The Headmaster and Head Girl stood in his office, simply looking up at the many old portraits which lined the high walls.

"I'd be worried if I didn't." Esme replied, finally tearing her gaze away from the sleeping paintings.
Dumbledore paused for a moment, before walking back around his desk and asking, "Are you worried?"
"N...No... I-I don't think so." She shook her head.

"Miss Avery, worry does not make us weak. It shows us that we have concern and things worth protecting." He informed her.

Esme thought, a natural frown settling over her features before she spoke up, "I'm not scared of what I'm doing - of going against the Death Eaters."
"That's not what I'm referring to, Esmerelda." Dumbledore shook his head softly with a twinkle in his eyes.

"You can't read minds, can you?" She narrowed her eyes in suspicion, "Because you really should disclose that before every conversation with anyone ever."
For a moment, Esme thought Dumbledore let out a slight chuckle before he replied, "No, Miss Avery, I don't read minds."

Esme could tell, rather unfortunately, that no matter how much she skirted around the topic, Dumbledore was going to continue to question her. He was looking at her now, comfortably assuming she would speak before he asked her again.

"Did you only make me Head Girl so we could confer in your office without suspicion?" She asked a last, feeling a slight relief at airing her concern.
Whilst it was clear Dirk deserved to be Head Boy for his hard work and reliability, Esme was very much a wildcard and had never really gone above and beyond to warrant such a position.

"Do you think you are not good enough to be Head Girl?" Dumbledore offered a slight smile.
Esme had to resist the urge to roll her eyes, knowing that it wouldn't have any effect on the Headmaster. "Well I'm not a Captain in quidditch. I'm not a Prefect. I have very minimal respect for the house system and most rules. I just... I'm not sure I'm good enough. There are people that worked for years for this."

"Last year you told me you hoped to work for the Ministry in order to help wizards under persecution for their magic." He remembered.
"Yes..."

He continued, "You don't allow walls or boundaries to determine anything. You wish to help those who are less fortunate, regardless of where they come from. Miss Avery, you always look at the bigger picture, and that is true selflessness. It makes you a remarkable Head Girl, as you see what is best for everyone and know no bias of houses. I know all of my students, and I know that you are the best for the job."