Hiraeth | Regulus Black

Chapter Eighty One

Needless to say, 1979 had gotten off to a rocky start.

Esme had had a lot of time on the train journey back to Hogwarts to think over everything that had happened. She spent much of that time analysing everything Regulus had said and done in the months leading up to that day, hoping to find some hints that were now obvious in retrospect - or perhaps she'd been to oblivious to notice in the first place.
But, as the train rolled into Hogsmeade station, she was feeling a lot calmer already and a lot less likely to bite someone's head off to breathing too closely to her.

This fragile, tentative calmness was quickly shattered by the bombardment of questions Esme was put under by Dirk and Levi, who were confused, concerned, and worried. Of course, they'd no idea of the argument that had taken place earlier in the day, and had to idea how to broach the topic of Regulus' absence appropriately.
So they got it wrong.

Esme had, of course, wasted no time in sharply snapping at the two boys. That, combined with her short, unhelpful responses to questions, quickly hammered home the idea that perhaps it was best and safer to just accept Regulus wasn't there, whatever the reason for that was.

"It's dreadful when you realise how much power someone has over you. No person should be able to change you mood so easily with an action they haven't given a second thought to."

Esme muttered, partly to herself and partly to Egeria who sat beside her.
They were high up in the empty quidditch stands, for there was no match today and not even a training session.

Part of Esme supposed she was there to feel comfortable in the memories held there - those of fun. The other part of Esme knew she was there to be alone because everyone else was so shockingly annoying at times.

"I've really gone back to my old self, haven't I?" She asked aloud, knowing it to be true.

In her early years at Hogwarts, whenever Esme had been in a foul mood or had been pushed right to the edge of her patience (which wasn't hard to do) she would go anywhere just to be alone with her own thoughts to calm down and relax.
But growing closer to Regulus, she hadn't needed to do that anymore. He could snap her out of a mood with a raised eyebrow and a slight smirk. He could stop her arguing by merely calling out her name.

Whilst she did love Regulus, and was forever grateful for everything he'd done for her, Esme didn't completely like that he had such a power over her.
Then again, they both had this control over the other so perhaps it worked out equally.

"I suppose that is the point in couples." Esme nodded once and then cast a glance down to the small black cat beside her. "You are quite small, aren't you?" She asked Egeria, and then shrugged it off and resumed looking down at the quidditch pitch.

Esme did hate moving around, and it wasn't like she could go and find Regulus to apologise for blowing up in his face. She never did know when to shut up, and had been completely blindsided when he had confessed to her that he wasn't returning to Hogwarts.

"Time for lunch, don't you think?" Esme asked aloud again. It didn't really make any difference, because Egeria would do what she wanted regardless of what Esme said.
That's cats for you.

So Esme tugged her scarf around her neck again, tightened her robes around her body, and set off up the hill and back towards the castle.

The previous week, Esme had written a letter to Piper. It had, in its own way, been rather therapeutic to look at everything scrawled down on a piece of parchment.
Tucked away in Esme's pocket, as she made her way towards the Great Hall, was the return letter from Piper. She'd cast a glance at the first bit of it, which consisted mostly of Piper complaining about how difficult it was to read Esme's handwriting - something Regulus too often pointed out.
It wasn't like Piper was there in person for Esme to retort: 'That sounds like a you problem.'