Behind Closed Doors // Billie Eilish

Chapter 19

"You didn't even sweep and mop the bathroom," she said.

"I did but there are stains on the floor. What do you expect?"

"For you to not back talk me, first of all."

I sighed. "Yes, ma'am. Sorry."

"It's okay. Don't let me see this again." She sat down on the couch, setting her hands in her lap. "I'm really sorry for the way I reacted when you told me that you like girls. I just want you to know that I'll support you no matter who you like. I'm coming to your wedding whether you're getting married to a boy or a girl. I don't want you to think that I don't love you or like you just because of who you like. I'm just worried. You're thinking about right now and I'm thinking about you're future. It's going to be hard for you. People are going to talk shit and it's going to be hard to find another girl that likes girls. There are so many things that I'm worried about."

"I know."

"What are you going to do when we have family Christmas at your abuela's house? You can't bring a girl over there. They won't understand. I'm worried about how you're going to have children and what their life will be like with two moms."

I didn't feel like arguing with her about this so instead, I asked the question that'd been sitting at the back of my mind since we started this conversation. "You seemed pretty mad a few weeks ago. Why are you saying this now?"

"Uh... Maggie was talking to me about the situation and she brought a few things to my attention. I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. That's all you need to know."

"Okay."

"Also, you're ungrounded. I still expect you to pull your grades up because I know you're better than a C and I wish you would get suspended again. See what happens. Also, let your hair grow back out."

"Yes, ma'am."

She handed me my phone and walked to her room. "Oh, yeah." She peaked her head out. "My friend, Rosamaria—you remember her, right?"

"Yeah. She owns that fancy vegan restaurant or whatever, right?"

She nodded. "She just had a few people quit and they don't have enough waiters anymore. I told her you could work for her. You're about to be on Christmas break so you'll have a lot of free time."

"Oh, uh... okay."

-

I lightly knocked on Billie's door, hoping Maggie was the one who answered. She was. "Camilla," she asked, clearly surprised. "I thought you were grounded."

"My mom ungrounded me. She apologized and stuff. She said that you talked to her. What'd you say?"

She shut the front door and cleared her throat. "It was just... don't worry about it."

"What? I wanna know. She was being pretty bitchy—I mean. I'm sorry. That was rude."

She laughed. "It's okay."

"She seemed pretty mad about it and then all of a sudden she loves me and supports me."

Maggie sighed, leaning against the wall. "When Billie was sixteen, she was diagnosed with clinical depression."

"My mom doesn't believe in that unless she's the one that has it. She says that's just an excuse to act out."

"It's definitely real. Billie had a lot going on. You know, she didn't like being famous then. She liked the fans and the shows but it was always very overwhelming for her. I was really worried that she was gonna... you know, hurt herself."