Behind Closed Doors // Billie Eilish

Chapter 56

"Yo como coño," Billie said. "And that's how you say 'I hate you' in Spanish?"

I nodded, trying my hardest not to laugh. "Yes."

"Okay. So, let me just text Claudia real quick." She texted Claudia and then laughed as she waited for a response. "Oh. She's typing."

I rested my chin on her shoulder and watched her phone screen, waiting to see what she said. "Okay. She said... 'what'."

"Ummm... send it again," I said.

"Okay." She sent the message again and Claudia replied immediately.

"Do you even know what you said?" she read the message out loud again.

"It says... I... hate you," she typed out before hitting the send button.

Her phone started ringing as she got a call from a laughing Claudia. "Is Camilla with you?"

"Yeah."

"That didn't say 'I hate you.'" Claudia laughed.

"What? Camilla, what did it say?" She turned to look at me and I just laughed. "Claudia?"

"It said 'I eat pussy.'" I giggled to myself.

"Fuck you."

"Bet you wanna."

-

"Camillaaaaa," Billie yelled from her room. "Get your ass in here!"

I rolled my eyes. "The fuck you want?" I opened the door.

"What color are these shoes?" She held up a pair of pink and white shoes.

"Ummm. Pink and white."

"I'll fucking kill you. I swear. These bitches are not pink and white." She drug her hands down her face frustratedly. "They're mint green and white."

I laughed. "Where? Where do you see green?"

"They don't even make pink and white onessss."

"Damn. Take a chill pill, Bil."

She held her phone up and showed me a bunch of pictures of pairs of shoes like hers, but they were mint green and white. "These are what shoes I have. Mint and white." She showed me an old picture of her wearing them. "See?"

I took the shoe and held it up. "Why is this even a thing? Why are you asking me this?"

"Just watch my Instagram story."

"Uhh..." I tilted my head at her. "I don't have Instagram anymore."

"Right." She handed me her phone and I watched her story to see several strange replies to strange questions and then a bunch of pictures and videos of her shoes and shoes like them.

"Umm... you're kind of an idiot, baby."

"Baby?" She smiled and raised her eyebrows at me, clearly amused.

"I meant Billie. Shut the fuck up. You just act like such a damn baby, I get it confused sometimes."

"Shut up. I don't care. It was cute. Anyways, why am I an idiot?"

"If you were seeing these shoes for the first time like this, you'd probably think they're pink and white too."

"You took the dustiest, crustiest picture of what I'm sure is the dustiest, crustiest pair of shoes you have. They're dirty and the lighting is terrible so of course, they look like they're pink and white."

Her mouth formed an O as she stared at the shoes. "That makes sense."

"Yeah."

"Well, the argument's already there." She shrugged.

"You're so annoying." I kicked her leg.

"No, I'm not." She kicked me back, a little harder than I kicked her.

"Yes, you are." I kicked her again.

"Ow! Damn." She laughed. "Daddy, chill."

"I hate you! Why are you so weird?"

She kicked me again before getting up and running. I got up and followed her. "Daddy, chill. Daddy, chill. Daddy, chill." She yelled the short phrase over and over until I finally caught up to her and grabbed her arms, turning her around to face me. "Suck my dickkkk." She laughed, wrapping her arms around me as she caught her breath.

I took the time to let my eyes examine her perfect features. Her eyes were intimidating as hell, but her nose, and head shape, and dimples were just adorable. It was weird. I couldn't possibly explain the unique mixture of feelings Billie bestowed upon me.

"What's wrong? Is there something on my face?" She wiped her cheek.

I shook my head. "No."

"Then what? Why are you staring at me?" She laughed.

"You're just pretty. Damn. Am I not allowed to admire you and make the most of our time together?"

"Well, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon," she pointed out and I could feel my smile falter as I looked down. She pulled me into a hug as tears pricked at my eyes. I quickly blinked them away. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing." I shook my head.

"No. There's something you're not telling me." She grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at her. "What is it?"

"I really like you a lot, Billie. Like, more than I'm sure you could possibly know, and I don't want to do anything to hurt you or make you angry or upset with me."

"You're not. What's—what is it?"

"I'm moving in with my dad at the end of this month. In Michigan."

"Why?"

"For one, my mom is kind of making me and I don't really have any other options, and I just really think that, for now, I need to get away from here. There's—there's too much going on."

"Oh." She looked down a little, a tear falling down her cheek as her expression changed from sad, to angry, to confused, to angry again, and then to something that I couldn't quite pinpoint. "I'm not mad. I understand. There is a lot going on here and there was a lot going on. I get why you'd want to go away but do you think that you'll... ever come back?"

I nodded. "Definitely. I'll definitely be back."

She sighed, pursing her lips. "Is this you're way of breaking up with me?"

I pulled her into me and kissed her head. "Of course, not. I just wanted you to know. It's your choice whether you break up with me or not."

She shook her head, laying her head on my chest and wrapping her arms around my waist.