✧ With Love ✧ || A Haikyuu Fanfic

✧ 3 || Friends ✧

Koushi Sugawara's POV

The weight of my heavy heart and mind pulled me down. My back was pressed against my bed and my eyes were glued to the ceiling. It was all I could feel. The weight of it all. I could feel it on my chest and in my head. But I felt a hole in my heart, one that seemed impossible to fill.

All I could do was lie there, wondering if I'd ever feel anything.

When I got home, I expected to cry, to scream, to break down, to do anything. But instead, I crawled into bed with this unusual emptiness. Now it was a Monday morning. I woke up early, or perhaps I never even slept. All I could remember was feeling hopeless, empty, and alone.

I had woken up two hours before I normally did, meaning I had plenty of time. Without the sense of urgency to get ready, I had no reason to get up. So I stayed there.

Why was he so angry? Is he hiding something from me? Does he actually like me or was he lying to make me feel better? Did I do something wrong? Does he hate me? Why do I feel like this? Am I overreacting?

Why can't I move?

The sound of my ringtone alerted me. With all of the strength I could muster, I grabbed my phone from my bedside table. It filled a bit of hope in me. Perhaps Daichi had something nice to say. With the little hope I had, I turned on my phone and read the message from the lock screen. It was from Daichi.

Can we just stay friends?

My heart hung even heavier. Those five words rung in my head over and over again, as if taunting me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. I placed my phone on my bedside table, not bothering to answer his question. My gaze once again was stuck on the ceiling, as if it could provide me with the answers I wanted.

Would it be wrong to hold on to some hope?

✧✦✧

I took everything one step at a time: it was the only thing I could do. One step at a time, I made my way to school. The ground beneath me felt unsteady, but I knew it was the fault of my shaky legs. I was on autopilot throughout the entire walk. Until, that is, I got a text from someone.

I pulled out my phone as I felt a small buzz and looked at it. I had received a text from Kageyama. It made me smile. At least someone remembered me.

•••

Kageyama: hi sugawara. are you busy?

Me: Hello Kageyama! I'm glad to see you text me. No, I am not. Do you need me for something?

Kageyama: yeah... I came for some advice

•••

It felt odd to be smiling, but nevertheless I was doing so. Almost everyone on our team had agreed that I was the best at advice except for Kageyama and Tsukishima-who to be fair, didn't care. It made me slightly happy to know he found me reliable.

•••

Me: So you finally agree don't you! You agree that I give the best advice :D

Kageyama: I guess so...

Me: Hehe, sorry! I'll stop teasing you. Anyways, what's up? What do you need help with?

Kageyama: I'm trying to figure out why I feel... a certain way around someone

Me: Could you perhaps describe that feeling?

Kageyama: uh yeah... this might get awkward

Me: That's alright! That's how feelings are. They are confusing and awkward.