✧ With Love ✧ || A Haikyuu Fanfic

✧ 16 || Serene ✧

Keiji Akaashi's POV

Serene.

It was the only way I could describe how I felt in that moment. It was just the two of us wandering around the streets of the city we knew all too well. Streaks of sunlight poured through the gaps between the tree branches, painting the ground with its golden hue. The gentle hum of the wind added life to the stillness of the sidewalk. Pink clouds adorned the sky.

I looked over at him, my emotionless mask slipping as I smiled. I couldn't help it. Seeing him next to me as he bounced with each step, the radiance of his smile emanating from him like warmth from a fireplace, the way his golden eyes would dart around, looking for new things to lay their eyes on: it was all too much for me.

He was too much for me.

I didn't deserve an angel like him.

But I knew it wasn't the time to let myself think that. I wanted to soak in every bit of life I could with him, knowing that after his graduation, we'd spend less time together. I couldn't even comprehend the fact that I wouldn't be going to school with him, that I would have to set to someone else, and that I'd have lonely bus rides to and from school. That my school life would carry on, yet I'd never live it the same. And as much as I wished for life to stop at that moment, to leave us there stuck in a brief second so free of problems, I knew it wouldn't happen. Pictures and videos couldn't bottle up the moment for me to live again. Nothing could.

It was as if Bokuto had read my mind when he said, "I wish I didn't have to graduate." I could hear the way he was sulking in his voice.

My fingers instantly curled into my hands. "Yeah."

The once serene silence had now turned somber in an instant. The truth hung from the air, making it so unbearably hard to breathe. I, Akaashi Keiji, was going to lose the person who was most close to me.

I didn't know how to feel.

I knew exactly what to feel, but I didn't understand how I was going to feel it. Because I didn't, I really didn't. I was stuck in this dream-like world; the line that marked reality wearing down with each step I took. The world around me had lost its life.

I was floating so far away from what I called reality. But there I stood, on my own two feet, wondering if I'd ever feel alive again. I knew I was alive: I was moving, blinking, breathing, existing, so why did it feel so fake? Why did everything feel so fake?

My eyes glazed over what seemed to be the 3D world I once lived in, aching to find a sense of belonging. Nothing seemed familiar anymore. I knew for a fact I wasn't dreaming, but the heavy fog that filled the air tried to convince me otherwise. I was so, so disconnected from reality that I could feel my feet stumbling from underneath me as I tried to keep up with Bokuto's quick pace. Yet I could barely feel that, too.

I had to have been going insane, there was no other explanation. And instantly, I could feel the panic growing in my gut.

The sound of Bokuto's voice startled me. He tilted his head to the side as he looked at me, but every motion of his felt so inhuman. I knew it had nothing to do with him, though. His unique hair made it easier for me to recognize him, because by the time I looked at him, I felt void of any emotion I ever felt towards him. It was as if he was a complete stranger to me, because not only had I forgotten my connection to the world, I had forgotten my connection to him. He was my best friend, I knew that, so why couldn't I feel it? "Hey, Akaashi,"—the way he said my name scared me—"are you okay? Is there anything bothering you?"

I shook my head and look away. "I'm fine."

But of course, he didn't let it go. Typical behaviour from Bokuto.

"Are you sure? You look like something is bothering you."

He had read me like a book, and that irritated me. I gritted my teeth. "I said I'm fine." I knew I had to speak in the most monotoned voice I could muster, because he knew me for so long; he saw through my act.

But the concern on his face grew, showing a tinge of curiosity. "Positive? I don't really—"

"I said I'm fine, Bokuto. You need to learn to let things go. It's absolutely irritating when you try to pry information out of me."

Silence.

Shit.

I could feel my heart drop with realization. My fingers dug themselves into my palm. Hesitant, I looked at him. The spikes in his hair had dropped, pointing to the ground like his gaze.

My hands were outstretched in front of me, but he didn't bother to lift his gaze from the sidewalk. "Bokuto, I didn't mean—"

"It's fine. Sorry I bothered you."

Monotoned.

His voice was so very monotoned.

Not once had he spoken to me or anyone in that voice, not that I knew of. Though my fear wasn't enough to ground me, it was enough to alert me. With each breath, my heart stung with regret and panic. I didn't know what to do. It was the first time in a while where I had encountered another weaknesses I didn't know of. And I was the one who brought that out of him.

It was my fault.

I'm a terrible person.

I was set on fixing the problem, but I didn't know how. So I did what my panic filled mind urged me to do. I stood where I was, which stopped Bokuto in his tracks.

And I hugged him.

It startled him at first, but soon he wrapped his arms around me too. We stood there in silence, the sound of his shaky breaths tickling my ear. I dug my chin in his shoulder, wishing to hold onto him forever. I closed my eyes and held him there. He didn't resist.

My pounding heart had settled into light taps against my chest. The worries that bothered me were taken away with the breeze that brushed past us.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I shouldn't have said that."

He didn't say anything for a while, instead responded by wrapping his arms around me tighter.

I was the first to pull away, knowing that if I didn't, we'd stand there forever. I wouldn't mind that, though. My eyes met his bright ones, and I wished I could gaze into them forever. There were so many things that I wished would last forever, but life was unforgiving.

He still didn't speak. It was slightly worrying until I saw the warm smile on his lips. Perhaps his silence didn't always mean something was wrong. Maybe this moment was one he'd want to live forever, too.

"I'm scared. I don't want to lose you," I said, my voice almost as quiet as the rustling of the leaves in the distance. "It's stressing me out..."

Holding back a cringe, I looked away. I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. But it was too late, the words had already left my lips. Hugging him, too, made me feel awkward and self-conscious.

"You won't lose me, I promise. I just... I hope you don't forget me..."

And if we weren't standing outside with tears in our eyes, I would've assumed he was joking. Who could forget Bokuto Koutarou?

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I don't think I can ever forget someone like you."

Shit, that's too cheesy.

But he didn't care. The smile on his face was brighter than the sun.

"And the same goes for you."

And there was only one word to describe how I felt in that moment.

Serene.

✧✦✧

Ahhhhh Bokuaka is my shit. I love it so much. I hope I did it justice!

I'll give a cookie to anyone who can figure out about what's happening to Akaashi. Leave your guesses here!

If you liked this part, feel free to vote! Hope everyone is doing alright!

With love,
Kiri ✧