I looked up to try and stop all the tears from falling down my face . I shook my head and sighed . I bit my bottom lip to stop the loud sob threatening to come from my mouth .
"FUCK !" I yelled out somewhat angry . I'm disappointed . I have some type of happiness within me , but not much .
I looked down and more tears fell .
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Im pregnant . There is a child inside of me , that im responsible for . I'm still young , I haven't got to enjoy so much of my life . I'm mad because I should have been more careful . I mad because I don't even know myself right now .
I heard foot steps so I hurried up and grabbed the pregnancy test and slid it in my shorts .
"It's me ja'kai ." Jayda said knocking . I let out a deep breath and opened the bathroom door .
She looked at me and she already knew . She was the one who told me to take the pregnancy test .
I shook my head and started crying again , she came and hugged me . For her to be younger than me , she is very mature . I love that about her .
"J-jayda ion know what to do ." I said .
"You need to tell jamari . You need to calm down first of all , don't need to stress yourself . You should set up a doctor's appointment soon . " She said rubbing my back .
I broke the hug and nodded .
"You know , I've never seen my brother like this . He seems happy around you , like he has this weak spot just for you . He is still very much mean , but I'm guessing you like that . He never brought a girl into his house and let her stay . He never introduced a girl to my granny . He's never been the relationship type since both parents left us . He's always been evil . He has a lot going on in his head . Bipolar disorder . ADHD and ADD . Obsessive Compulsive Disorder . Post Traumatic Stress Disorder . Those are just the ones I know of . He is completely crazy . He is on several medications but refuses to take them unless you say so . Jamari was supposed to die a total of 3 times , in just this year . I'm glad he stopped drinking lean , he still does sometimes but it's not as bad as it used to be . He used to sit in his room and break shit , burn shit and just do all types of stuff . Killing is his way of therapy , I've seen him kill 3 people in 1 day . He smiled the whole time . He likes to watch people suffer . I've seen him set houses on fire with people in them , alive . H-He set our aunties house on fire while she was sleeping . He didn't feel bad about it . He lived each day like nothing happened . He did it because she was mistreating me . Him and Deezy are exactly alike . They both fucked up in the head , but they just need love . They don't want love though . I'm convinced Deezy will forever be his only friend . They have done so much crazy shit together . Deezy mama was a crackhead . They were both like 16 and Deezy mama tried to drug Deezy . Jamari went crazy , he shot her 27 times . Deezy cut he body up and they spread it around the house . Another time , they were in like 5th grade . Jamari always took lighters to school and Deezy took knives . Deezy cut the teachers ear off and got suspended , jamari got mad and set the classroom on fire . That's why we call him satan , he's a fucking demon straight from hell . I think it has everything to do with both parents leaving us . He will do anything , I mean anything for someone he loves . He found out some girls were bothering me at school....all 4 of them are dead . He told me he would tell me exactly what happened one day . With all this being said , I know he is a lot to deal with . His moods flip in an instant , when he's mad ....he's mad . But I promise my brother wouldn't purposely hurt you . When yaal broke up he killed 16 people Ja'kai . Out of rage . Those people did nothing to him . Deezy was right along with him killing . I hope he never goes to jail , but at the same time he needs some type of help . He's always talking about finding him and nice girl and raising a daughter together . He told me he'll kill anybody about his kids . I believe him . I know he won't be upset about this child , if that's what your thinking . But please don't leave him , he's come very far within these months of y'all together . You have his ass wrapped around your finger . I heard you crying sometimes and he comforts you . I hear you wanting more of him , he's giving a lot ja'kai . For him to say he loves you , is a lot . He told me Londyn is like a daughter . He said anyone that fucks with her is dying instantly . Jamari just needs you . He don't care if your sad . He doesn't care about any of that . He loves you for you . He wants you to love him for him . I love you like a sister , and I know sooner or later I'm going to live with yaal . My granny is getting sicker and sicker . I know when she d-dies , jamari could possibly go back to his old ways . Just don't leave him . Your his peace ." She said . I just stood there shocked .
I knew he was crazy but damn . I never knew he felt that way about me . I never knew half the shit she just told me .
"I-ok ." I managed to say . She smiled and walked out the bathroom . I pulled the pregnancy test out and put it in my makeup bag and slid it all the way in the back of the cabinet .
" JAKAAAAAAAI !" I heard him yell .
"I'm in the bathroom !" I yelled back . He came in and his eyes were changing colors . He looked at me and looked down .
I wiped my face and smiled . He flashed his grills and grabbed my hand .
"Why you crying ?"
"I don't know . Alot ." I said and hugged his waist . I'm not short really , but compared to him I'm very short .
"Mhm Talk then ." He said
"There's nothing to talk about , I'm fine . I promise ." I laughed .
He looked down at me unsure and shrugged his shoulders .
I started licking on him because he didn't have on a shirt and that damn 6-pack was looking sexy .
I started to leave hickeys all on his stomach and chest . He just stood there , I heard him let out a couple deep breaths every now and then .
"I'm done ." I pulled back and it made a popping sound . I licked over my lips and looked up at him just stare down at me .
"Whaaaaat ?"
"Fucking freak man ." He laughed letting me go and went to sit on the bed . I walked out the bathroom too and jumped on the bed .
"I need to go to the doctors tomorrow . " I said sitting up looking at him .
"Ight . I wanna move . Out the hood . " he said . I raised my eyebrow but stayed silent .
"I just don't want Londyn to have to live like this . I know we doing good as far as making sure she got everything , but I want her to be able to go outside and not worry bout getting shot riding her bike ." He spoke again . His leg started shaking violently and he thought I didn't see it .
"Go take your medicine ." I said . He huffed and got his ass up to take that medicine . When he came back he was eating some fruit snacks .
"Did you take all of them ?"
"Just the one for ADHD . " I nodded . That's the only one he ever takes , he won't take the one for bipolar disorder at all . That's the one he needs .
"Anyways , finish talking ." I said snatching one of his fruit snacks making him throw the box at my head .
" I wanna move . You comming too . Not really much to discuss ." He said smacking loud .
"Stop that shit ." I said hitting his chest . He picked up his phone and threw it at my lip .
"Ow bitch !" I said about to cry . He looked at me laughed .
"I know yeen finna cry ." He said .
"Yes..." I said.
"You bet the fuck not ja'kai , if you do I know sum ." He was still laughing .
I hurried up and wiped my face before tears could fall . I moved away from him and laid on the other side of the bed .
"Take a nap crybaby ." I said smacking my butt.
" OUCH !" I said about to cry again . I winced and he laughed still smacking on fruit snacks .
I ended up taking that nap .
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I been in a good mood lately so I might update a lot today 🙃.
How many yaal want today ?
I would love you guys to be active , voting and commenting . Thank you to the ones who already do it .
I forgot some information soooo ima have to go back and re-read sum stuff so it can add up 😭😭.
