Stay With Me

In Love

After the girls left the hospital, Jisoo did what Lisa asked for. Always acting like their big sister. They were so happy that Lisa was finally awake that they couldn't stop smiling to their way back to the dorm.

In the meantime Lisa, was lying on the hospital bed, she couldn't get any sleep. She kept looking at the ceiling and thinking.
A lot of were going on, in her head.

She had a lot to think about. She didn't know how to act around Jennie. Her heart and her body were attracted to Jennie but she knew it was not right. There are a lot of things at stake here. Even though there was nothing she wanted more, other than run to her, take her in her arms and never let go, she knew that they could lose everything in the process.

Actually it was more right than anything.
It was just not acceptable. We are all unique. All born into our era, our family, our body. We can only be ourselves and accountable for ourselves. And this is all the more apparent when we fall in love, when we need to see the new person as they truly are, no filter, no expectations, only acceptance, loving them always and in all weathers.

She kept wondering about Jennie's feelings.
Did she feel the same way about her?
Did she love her, like she did?
Did they almost kiss each other?
Did Jennie feel pity for her that she was injured and that's why she almost kissed her?

Sometimes she was feeling the intensity, the electricity, the sensual and sexual tension between them, but that could be only her imagination. Her desire to be real.
But what Lisa was feeling was pretty clear. She was in love with Jennie and she couldn't fight it anymore.

Some people say that when you are in love with someone, you kill for the person you have fallen.
But when you love someone, you sacrifice youself over those who hold your heart dearly.
Isn't that what Lisa did?
Actually Lisa would die a thousand times for Jennie. Without a second thought, without a doubt, again and again, she would have done it, if that meant Jennie's well being and safety.

She could survive anything if she would felt Jennie's love, even these pains that come to explode within her chest. And when she used to smile at her, she was Lisa's heroine, her morphine, finer than any doctor could prescribe her.

Her thoughts were travelling fast, until she recalled the shooting.
The recalling of the gunshot, brought back the pain; it was as if the bullet was still in her guts, as if her blood was still draining over her shirt, running warm through her chest. Her stomach lurched. It was PTSD but more like a short influenza, altering her physically for the worse.

She unconsciously touched her chest, as she recalled the hit of the bullet. It's nothing like in the movies. The pain is just too real, the fear that takes over your body make you freeze. In a blink of an eye, you realise what's important in life. What kind of person you are.

She felt scared and alone in this hospital room, but the girls had enough already. No need to push their health off limits. Classic Lisa. Always thinking about everyone else expect for herself.

Who was that guy? Will they catch him or he will try again to hurt Jennie? All that were running through her mind. She felt a sting of pain in her heart even to the thought of it. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips in order not to cry. She had been too strong since she woke up, making everyone believe she is actually fine.

The truth is, she wasn't. Not even close.
She was overwhelmed with emotions. She wanted to scream STOP! Stop, feeling. Her breath became rapid as her emotions were taking over her body.

Some saw the bullet, but she saw the person behind it. Her attacker had a diagnosis; it didn't make a difference to Lisa tho. She wanted to return to who she was before all these, but the flashbacks and anger take their toll. The man who did this to her is still on the loose, not because they don't know who he is, but because "He couldn't help it." He'll do it again to someone else and someone else after that.