Can't Let You Go

Chapter 10

Avery's POV

After having that terrible dream about my mom, James and I thought it was a good idea to visit her and bury the past once and for all. So here we were driving to the rehab centre to go and see her. I was hesitant at first. I didn't know if it was a good idea to bring James along. But being him, he came anyway to support me. After what felt like two minutes, we were standing in line of security check.

Once we were cleared, we just had to sign in and go into a large common space where other visitors sat with patients. A nurse wheeled my mother towards us. She looked shocked to see me. I mean I was shocked that I actually came. She was now sitting across from me.

"Avery, I-"

"No mom, you are going to listen to what I have to say. Ever since I was a little girl you and dad neglected me. You did not care for me the way a mother should for their child. There were no braiding each other's hair, no sleepovers, no tea parties, no baking together, I got nothing. Instead, I got bruises, and fractured bones, and because of you I lost my father. Leaving you was the best thing I did. I've got friends who love me, a loving boyfriend who's family accepted me as their own, and a great education. I don't need anything from you. I came here today, to tell you that I am no longer your victim. You do not have my forgiveness. But I've accepted what you did and changed for the better. After today, I do not want to talk to you. I do not want to hear from you. And I do not want to see you. I pray you get the help you need and that you get your life back on track. But I'm dead to you. You no longer have a daughter. I am going to live out my life and I don't want you a part of it. I wish you well and that's it. I have nothing more to say to you."

It felt really good to finally get all of that off my chest. It meant I was almost healed. She just stared at me not knowing what to do. James squeezed my hand and we got up to leave when she started talking.

"Avery wait. I don't blame you for not wanting anything to do with me. But I do need to tell you this. I am so sorry for failing as a mother. I should've loved you, and supported you yet all I ever did was break you down. I never intended on neglecting you like that. Things took a fall for the worst when your father caught me cheating. It was my fault. I was never satisfied with what I had. I am finally getting the help I need. I can't imagine all the horrible things I've done to you, but I want you to know that I am sorry. I was sick and I couldn't take care of myself. I wish you the best in your life here with your boyfriend. I hope you find every happiness in the world."

I smiled at her and nodded. I did not forgive her. But I appreciated her saying all of that. We said our goodbyes and left. I felt great. I felt light. This was probably one of the best things I've ever done. We were on our way home when Jay spoke up. "How are you feeling cara mia? You have no stopped smiling since we left."

I turned to him and kissed his cheek. "Jay, that felt great. That part of my past is buried. That skeleton in the closet is gone. Now it's time to move on. I don't need to worry about her and she does not need to worry about me. Thank you for supporting me. I love you so much."

"Hey, I'm just glad I get to be a part of you turning your life around. I'm proud of you. Who knows maybe you will be able to meet up with your dad and talk."

That did not sound like a bad idea. Maybe not right now, but sometime in the future? It will be beneficial to me that way my past is all behind me and I did not have to carry any burden. I was just glad to be in such a good place.

School had me busy as always, we were a couple months away from summer vacation. That's what I held onto. I have not seen the girls in ages so we all decided to go out for dinner and catch up.

We all sat down and ordered before talking about what we all missed. "So Avery, what's new with you?" They all smirked.

"Nothing really. I spent the holidays with James' family. They are wonderful and I had a lot of fun. And I recently saw my mom in rehab. Went to bury the past and move on without her in my life."

They all looked at me and smiled. They were all really happy for me, and that is why I loved them. Just like James they all supported and loved me. We were all laughing at Steph who was talking about her love life when my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller and it was James. I got up and went outside to answer.

"Jay baby, what's up?" I heard him sigh.

"Avery, I need you to come home. We need to talk."

He sounded really weird and I couldn't tell how he was feeling. I started panicking so I said goodbye to the girls and paid for my bill. I drove home and saw James waiting on the couch for me. I went to kiss him and then he sat me down.

"Avery, the rehab centre called. Your mom passed away tonight. They said it was a stroke. I'm sorry cara mia."

I didn't know how to feel. I saw her a few days ago and she was fine. She looked like she was getting better. A few tears started to fall but I didn't know why. I just got up and got ready for bed. After a while James came to join me in bed. He didn't say anything he just held me until we were both in bed.

A few days later we were standing in a graveyard watching my mother's casket get buried in the ground. My grandparents were the ones who arranged everything as I had no clue on how to do anything. It's been forever since I've seen them. Despite everything my mother did to them, they still grieved the loss of their child. It was hard seeing them like that. The entire time James was by my side holding me. It was weird having family giving me their condolences. They had no clue of what my mother did to me. I let them think she was the perfect mom.

Once everything was buried and people left, I stood at her grave staring down at her. I hope she's finally at peace.

"Let's go home Avery. It's been a long day."

We got into the car and drove off home. Here's to the start of something new.