Endgame - A Drarry Fanfic (Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy)

Chapter 9: Home-Cooked Meal

TRIGGER WARNING: talk of depression, PTSD, suicide 

By the time Harry kissed his children goodbye back on platform 9 & 3/4, things felt at least semi-back-to-normal with James, Lily and Albus. With all the commotion, however, he didn't see Draco on the platform that day. 

He apparated back to what was now Ginny's home, gathered his stuff, and then headed back to London the muggle way. Harry had gotten a muggle apartment in London, a short walk away from the visitors entrance for the Ministry. His fireplace was connected to the floo network, but sometimes he preferred the walk through muggle London. Harry liked being in the muggle world now sometimes; there he was no one, just a regular guy. He wasn't the chosen one, not the boy who lived, not  the wizard who defeated Voldemort, and not a man who cheated on his wife. 

After living with Ginny and all the kids for a while again, his apartment felt very empty. Harry suddenly realized he hadn't written a letter to Draco since before Christmas. He took out a quill, ink and piece of parchment. 

Malfoy, Would you feel like coming over for dinner tonight? I'll cook you a hot meal. If you do, just come through the fireplace around 7. -Harry Potter

Harry set the letter off with his owl. He hoped it would get to him in time. When he wrote a letters to Draco, he usually didn't get a response until the next day. Harry realized he didn't know where Draco lived anymore. Scorpius usually came to visit the Potters; Harry couldn't remember Albus ever going to the Malfoys'. So Harry had no clue how far the letter who have to go, and surely even if it did make it, their wouldn't be enough time for a return owl. 

So Harry decided he better go out to buy food, even if Malfoy wasn't coming, he had nothing in the house. By 6 o'clock Harry had started cooking, just in case Draco was coming, but with Kreacher having passed years ago and no Ginny, he made quite the mess. Knives missing their mark and flying into walls, trash landing a foot away from the garbage, and spoons stirring so fast they were spraying stuff everywhere. One of the pots started to smoke profusely, and Harry had to open a window to clear the air. 

At 7 on the dot, the fire place burned green and out stepped Malfoy. "You came." said Harry slightly surprised, even though he had just spent the last hour cooking for his arrival. 

"Oh course I came, Potter. I figured you were all sad and alone now that the kids have gone off; someone had to come to pick you up off the floor." Draco said sarcastically with a laugh. 

"Yeah, ha, good one, Malfoy. Well, dinner's ready." Harry waved his wand and the mess was gone, hopefully Draco hadn't noticed, but it seemed like he had...

"You cooked?" Draco said looking around the kitchenette. 

"Yeah."

"I bet it'll be shit." Malfoy said jokingly with a smile. 

"Thanks." They both laughed again. 

The two men sat down to eat the meal Harry had prepared. It actually wasn't bad, and Draco didn't make any complaints. 

"So how was your holiday?" Harry asked. 

"Well it was nice to have Scorpius home. Him and your son usually stay."

"I was never too happy about that. I didn't go home from Hogwarts because I didn't have a good home to go to. I actually found it a bit insulting at first when Albus told us he was staying. But, in the end I get it. Hogwarts is fun over the holidays. Plus I don't think those boys want to be apart."

"Quite the bond they have. Reminds me of you and your buddies, never one without the others." He giggles and smiles. 

"Told Albus, James and Lily they had to come home this year though. Ginny and I wanted to have some family time with everything that's been going on."

"How'd that go? With the divorce and all."

"Alright. It was a bit rough in the beginning." Harry looked over to Draco to notice that he was really listening. He just sat there quietly and let Harry continue, "They wanted to know the real reason for the divorce. We never really told them why, and with everything in the news, of course they wanted to know."

Draco continued to listen. He didn't push the subject, but it felt good for Harry to talk about it with someone besides Ron and Hermione. After spending time with Draco these few months, he  really felt like he could trust him, so Harry went on. 

"We told them it was because of my PTSD and depression." This is one of the few times Harry had said those words aloud, and with Draco is was surprisingly easy.  

"I had a feeling you'd be fucked up by now." Draco said with a little silly smile. It lighted the mood and Harry chuckled. 

"Ha! Yup, pretty fucked. And that's not even all of it." The words were just slipping out,  "I tried to kill myself back then, about a year after the Battle of Hogwarts. Didn't tell the kids that though." Harry couldn't believe he had just told Draco that, he wasn't even sure why. 

When he looked at Draco, he was staring down at his plate, "Thought about doing that too back then, back when we were still in school." 

Harry wasn't too surprised. He had never thought of this, but he remembered how unhinged Draco seemed back in 6th year. Him wanting to take his own life wasn't a far stretch since Voldemort would have killed him if he failed anyway. 

Draco continued, "But, you know, you make it through one day, then another. Then you went ahead and saved the bloody world and things got a lot easier."

"Well, it took a long time for things to get better for me. Even after Voldemort was gone, I just felt like I should have been dead. So many people died, and I was supposed to die, but I didn't." Harry realizes after he says it that Draco probably has not idea what he means by 'I was supposed to die' but he doesn't ask, which is a good thing because he wasn't sure if he could get through that whole story right now. 

"So," Draco finally asked, "that's why you divorced huh? Little Weaslett couldn't deal with you anymore?" 

They both giggled. Draco always seemed to know how to lighted the mood. 

"No, actually," Harry said, standing to grab the dishes, "That wasn't even why." Harry grabbed Draco's plate as well and put them both in the sink. The room was starting to get a bit chilly so he went over to close the window. 

"Oh really," Draco said as Harry gestured to Draco to move towards the living room. "Then what was it?" He asks, plopping himself on the couch, easily making himself at home. 

Harry had told him so much already, why not tell him the truth? He felt so comfortable with Draco. "The real reason," He said sitting on a opposite end of the couch as Draco, but facing him,  "is that I'm gay."

Draco's heart did a somersault when he heard this. He had realized he had a thing for Harry Potter a long time ago, but he had also accepted that it was never happening. When he heard of Harry's divorce he had the tightest bit of hope, but still logically he thought, never, ever, would Harry Potter be into him or any man. 

The look on Draco's face, Harry wasn't sure if it was surprised? Happy? Confused? Disgusted? Draco got closer to Harry; Harry wasn't sure what he was about to do. But then Draco kissed him. 

Harry was in shock, he was just frozen for a second, but once he processed what was happening, he started to kiss back, but Draco suddenly pulled away. 

"Potter!" Draco for a second thought he should blame Harry for this, but there was no point, "I... have to go!"

"Wait Malfoy!" but with a pop Draco had disapparated.