Becoming Brett

2. Just Friends

I'm usually the last person out of every single one of my classes because I'm always trying to utilize my time in class. I'm one of the rare teens that does all their homework, early, instantly. Straight A's are my only option.

Luckily school is pretty easy for me. Even with the honors classes I'm taking.

Not even the teachers wait for me when it's lunch time, Mrs. Kingsley hurrying out the door with her polka dot lunch bag.

Gathering my books up the roar of students starts to quiet in the hallway, everyone either filtering into classrooms or making their way to lunch. A sigh deflates my lungs and I head for the doors, my books stuffed in the bag that hangs from my shoulders as I step into the hallway.

By now most everyone's at Wes's locker, waiting for me more than likely so I pick up my pace passing by one of the classroom doors. They're all slightly set in from the lockers that line the halls and as I come up on the next one too focused on my destination which is a floor down in the senior hall, hands wrap around my arm and yank me so hard I go stumbling. My glasses nearly fall of my face, my vision blurry around the edges of the lenses as I drop my bag and grope for something to keep me upright.

But sturdy hands have me and I'm never quite at risk for falling no matter what it might seem like. His laugh floats through the space around me, quiet and low so we don't draw attention. Although I'm not sure how me blundering around is necessarily discrete.

And as I regain my footing, fixing my glasses and my eyes meet playful gray ones, for just that second it's just him and me. I'm so lost in the world I'm so desperate to be real that I forget where we are, that we could get caught, that I'm me. And when his lips meet mine, my body melts against his, any air that might have been left in my lungs leaves me in a content sigh.

For just that moment, everything is right.

But it never lasts because right behind the dream that he creates everytime he does this to me is reality. And in reality I'm still in the closet. Probably the deepest, heavily locked closet there ever was. And it needs to stay that way.

So I push my hands into his broad chest, my fingertips pushing into the soft material of the blue school shirt he's wearing and I manage to put a fraction of space between our lips. Just enough to mumble out his name.

"James." I don't mean to but every time I say his name after he's kissed me it's filled with longing. "Someone might see."

His hands snake around me as he abandons my lips for my neck because he knows I'm going to keep talking, protesting, fighting what I am.

"We can't get caught." I press.

"Everyone's at lunch." His breath fans against my neck, warm, sending sparks out along my skin. "No one here to catch us."

"J." I beg, pushing harder into his chest. "Please."

He lets me separate us more but we're still standing too close, too intimately to ever be considered friends from bystanders.

I have to tip my head back, James got some crazy growth spurt the summer of our sophomore year. It definitely helped him out when it came to basketball but now we all spend our time looking up at him.  His height doesn't make him intimidating though, he's a gentle giant.

He lets out a heavy sigh, his gray eyes searching mine but I'm positive that I'm doing not only what is right but what is safe.

There's too much at stake if James and I were to ever out ourselves.

"Then when can we be together?" He asks.

My brain jumps into hyperdrive trying to figure out a compromise. Shuffling around my schedule to find even the slightest bit of time.

If I don't hang out with Wes when I drop him off there's a possibility that we could maybe have an hour together before I have to be home to give a piano lesson to a six year old that has literally zero interest.

"Maybe today." I tell James slipping from where he's had me nearly pinned against the wall.

I start down the hallway, a breath of relief escaping me because it's still deserted, all the juniors in their classes. James follows behind me, too close, our arms touching as he tries to reach for my hand. I wrap it around the strap of my bag.

"I could drop Wes off and we can go to our spot." I say as an offering.

And as always James is happy to oblige. "I'll give Savannah the car, get a ride from Darren to the library."

Every time James mentions Darren something close to jealousy fires up inside me. I don't think there's something going on between James and Darren, at least not like what's going on between James and me. And even though James denies telling Darren about us, I'm not sure I believe him.

They spend a lot of time together, talking in hushed tones. Darren giving rides to James to the library any time he asks. It all seems too suspicious to me.

But we've had enough talks about it so I keep my suspicions to myself usually and say "sounds good".

"Have you seen the new girl?" James asks, changing subjects.

"You mean the one in our English class?" My eyebrow raises in amusement.

Of course I've seen the new girl, it's not often we get a new senior well into the start of school. James is also in my English class. Plus I'm pretty sure her and Cora were talking about Wes during music.

I trust Cora with Wes. But that doesn't mean I trust whoever this new girl is.

James chuckles, something that I wish was a tangible thing so that I could lean into it. Feel it's warmth, it's softness. "Yeah, that one."

With a smile on my face I say, "Yeah J, I've seen her."

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Who loves Brett and James together!? 🙋‍♀️

But actually this author's note is to tell you that @cayteHTSVRYN wrote a poem called Red Light, Green Light and it's ridiculous. Go read it.
Double update for national literacy day?