DMS | lashton + malum

all of my life has been heartbreak weather

the last chapter was really stupid so i hope this even dumber one makes up for it. also, there is dialogue in this. its mediocre at best and certainly not my best work, but it gets the point across i guess. sorry for the wait. love you all.

comment? i appreciate it♥️
_________________

lukehemmings:
hey my favorite band member

calumhood:
what's up

lukehemmings:
not you stupid

michaelclifford:
well i know it's not me

ashtonirwin:
...hey?

lukehemmings:
hey baby
i have another joke for you 🥰
why was six afraid of seven

ashtonirwin:
sigh
because 7 8 9

lukehemmings:
no
because seven is a registered six offender !!
get it ?!

ashtonirwin:
what the fuck
that's not even funny

lukehemmings:
can i eat your ass ?

calumhood:
y'all needa seek help

lukehemmings:
who the hell asked you

michaelclifford:
maybe i asked

lukehemmings:
not this again 🙄

michaelclifford:
...not what again

lukehemmings:
ever since you and calculus started fucking you protect him like he's not a grown ass man

michaelclifford:
pls, give me a break
you were way worse with ash.
hell, you still act like that

lukehemmings:
do not

ashtonirwin:
do too
i can't take a piss in peace
im not -3 and ur not my mum🖐️

calumhood:
dam

lukehemmings:
well then
fuck me for caring

ashtonirwin:
it's okay baby i still love you

lukehemmings:
i feel like this could lead to a problem later in our relationship, us dismissing minor issues like this, but tbfh im too lazy to look into it.

ashtonirwin:
what ever do you mean
our relationship is healthy and beautiful and perfect and everything i ever dreamed of

calumhood:
queen of run on sentences

lukehemmings:
ashton💀
michael and calum, the two most lazy and unorganized people i have EVER met, have a healthier relationship than us
at least be aware of our beautiful mess

calumhood:
nsnkdkfdm about that

michaelclifford:
yea, me and calum are no longer in a relationship.

ashtonirwin:
called it
luke you owe me 50 bucks

lukehemmings:
can i pay u in dick instead
or ass ur choice

michaelclifford:
i hate both of u so much

calumhood:
you guys don't even wanna know why we broke up?

lukehemmings:
you'll probably tell us anyway so why ask

ashtonirwin:
i really don't care why you broke up, i have better things to worry about.
but go ahead and say you broke up because you both feared that a romantic relationship would ruin your friendship, therefore you both mutually decided remaining friends would be best