DMS | lashton + malum

honey i exploded the microwave

just a teeny chapter filled with lashton because they are my favorite to write (and easiest) and i figured i should update so. yea. this is really stupid

loveeee u

________

ashtonirwin to lukehemmings

lukehemmings:
darlinggg ?💘

ashtonirwin:
what did you do now luke

lukehemmings:
how did you-

ashtonirwin:
you only call me darling if we just got done.. doing the naughty, or if you're trying to butter me up
and last i checked we have not done such a thing
so what did you do

lukehemmings:
first of all.
"doing the naughty" 😂
baby you're the cutest
second.. how do you know i'm not just being nice

ashtonirwin:
luke.

lukehemmings:
umm
i exploded the microwave

a

shtonirwin:
and how did you do that

lukehemmings:
i left a fork in my bowl of cereal
are you mad at me 🥺

ashtonirwin:
what was a bowl of cereal doing in the microwave??

lukehemmings:
i wanted to see what hot cereal tastes like

ashtonirwin:
oh my god
and what business did a fork have in said cereal??

lukehemmings:
...
it saves milk for a second bowl

ashtonirwin:
i don't even know what to say to you right now

lukehemmings:
maybe say you forgive me and you love me ??

ashtonirwin:
i forgive you and i love you i guess
you're buying me a new microwave though

lukehemmings:
done !!

ashtonirwin:
i actually have something to tell you as well

lukehemmings:
yes baby 🥰

ashtonirwin:
ummm
i might've accidentally broken your xbox.
luke??
im sorry
are you crying???

lukehemmings:
what?? i never cry

ashtonirwin:
i can hear you sobbing downstairs

lukehemmings:
whatever
as long as i have you i'll live

ashtonirwin:
that's sweet
a tad dramatic
but sweet

lukehemmings:
we should host a funeral for the microwave and xbox

ashtonirwin:
are you high or stupid

lukehemmings:
not high or stupid thank you
it was just a thought

ashtonirwin:
hm
maybe we should
we could do it in the backyard

lukehemmings:
are YOU high ??

ashtonirwin:
maybe a little
i get stoned when i'm mourning

lukehemmings:
i didn't know you loved the microwave that much

ashtonirwin:
well we made a lot of memories

lukehemmings:
😢
so you're definitely buzzed right now ?

ashtonirwin:
uh yeah i'd say so
why

lukehemmings:
i just figured this would be a good time to tell you that the xbox was michaels and not mine.

ashtonirwin:
shit
well then why were you crying??

lukehemmings:
because when he finds out you broke it he's gonna kill you.. and i'll miss you

ashtonirwin:
oh god