CHAPTER 32

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"I have decided to die

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"I have decided to die."

I ran my fingers over my sword's hilt. "Took you long enough," I said, not looking up, my back flat against a rocky wall.

"I just can't deal with the disrespect, frankly," Ciel continued, stretching his long legs.

I snorted, gazing up to find his brown eye trained on me.

We had walked for two full days through rocky terrain since we'd left Syclla's hollow and now we were camped under a small overhang. Ciel and I were taking the first watch together, which was a questionable decision really.

"Okay, Hamlet, have at it," I laughed, leaning forward to touch my toes, but not before wiping snot from my nose.

He huffed, before coming to sit by me and resting his head on my shoulder. I promptly shrugged it off and he looked positively affronted.

"You won't have any say in your death if Aester finds us like this," I chuckled, as he sulked.

He sighed dramatically, slumping against the tree.

"What are you, five?" I asked, giggling. But it got me thinking.

"Wait, wasn't Haven like a couple centuries older than you when 'you guys were'?" I said, sitting up fully.

He looked at me without moving his head and said, "Hang on, how old do you think I am?"

I stared at him for a few seconds before he burst out laughing.

"I hate you," I muttered as I pushed him over.

"You say hate, solida-" he said, still laughing, as I glared at him. "Or do you prefer sun-not-star?" he smiled.

"Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are?" I grumbled, trying desperately to stifle a smile.

I had already told him about the observatory with Syrion. Yes, even how I fell on him, to which he replied "You never fell for me like that", and about my grandma naming me after Solis, the Star of life.

"There's a story," he said, "The Moon's Monologue."

"I know it," I interjected. And I did. I had chewed and mulled over the story for days on end. Maybe my grandma named me wrong, I thought, I wasn't selfless and, after what happened with the Scylla, I sure as heck wasn't bringing life to anyone.

I told Ciel as much and he was silent for a bit.

"You're going on a life threatening journey to find a cure for your people," he said simply, "sounds pretty selfless to me."

Yes, except that's not it, I thought. I was searching for a cure for Mycroft, yes, but more importantly for Ceres, more importantly so that I wouldn't be alone.

I didn't say that though, I just smiled at him gratefully as he intertwined his fingers with mine, the night sky dark above us.

———————————————

We set off at dawn, after a small breakfast of yeast rolls and cheese. After a few hours of walking, the rocky land petered out replaced by rich, green grass.

Soon we were standing in a verdant meadow, it was similar to the meadows we had already ridden through but it was... better.

I smiled, as everbird song cut through the fresh air, swirling around me like the gentle breeze. It was beautiful.

And it was mine alone. I skipped through the lush grass, laughing as the sun kissed every inch of me. The euphoria of being the only person for miles in that beautiful place overwhelmed me and I lay down, sighing contentedly.

Before a voice cut through my relaxation like a serrated blade ripping the most exquisite ribbon.

I sat up dazed, and looked around, smile still plastered on my face.

When I saw her I did not scream or cry or faint, not because I didn't want to, but because all I could do was freeze.

When I saw my mother, all I could do was freeze.

When I saw my mother, all I could do was freeze

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