☠︎︎Bᴀᴋᴜɢᴏᴜ Oɴᴇ-Sʜᴏᴛs (Book 1)☠︎︎ [REQUESTS ARE CLOSED]

Stand Up Comedy

 Category: Fluff

Ship: No ship

Warning: Swearing, and Katsuki throwing people under the bus

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"So, I heard there's this Comedy Club a couple blocks away and I think we should go!" Mina told the class, except Bakugou, one Friday afternoon in the common room.

"Ok, well aren't comedy clubs something to do at night?" Kirishima asked.

"Well we can wait." Mina said, "Can everybody come then?" Mina asked. Everyone agreed to, there was one that was forced not to come, Mineta.

"What about Bakugou?" Kaminari asked.

"I'll end up forcing him to come when it gets nearer." Kirishima said.

"Ahh ok"Kaminari said. The class waited till dusk to go.

The class got ready, and Kirishima walked up to Bakugou's dorm door, and knocked. He got no answer. He knocked again and still no answer.

"Bakugou, you in there?" Kirishima asked.

"He's gone. Did you not see him leave the dorm building earlier?" Shouji said, walking towards Kirishima from his room.

"Ahh no, I guess not. Thanks Shouji." Kirishima scratched the nape of his neck nervously.

"No problem, Kirishima." Shouji said, walking past Kirishima and to the elevator.

Soon the class was on their way to the comedy club. There was evident chatter between friends, but Kirishima could not get one question of his mind. Where did Bakugou leave to? And why didn't he tell anyone?

Soon the Class arrived at the club, and got seats inside. The class also got drinks to occupy their time till a comedian came on.

"Alright, so our next comedian is uh 16 years old. Pretty young if I do say so myself." The announcer said on stage.

"16? That's really young." A woman said to the woman next to her, in front of the students, who were in the back.

"Please give it up for Katsuki Bakugou everybody!" The guy said, and the crowd started clapping.

"Wait, BAKUGOU?" Kirishima, and the squad yelled.

Bakugou walked up on stage in usual attire, ripped black skinny jeans, and a faded rock t-shirt.

He grabbed the mic, and set his water bottle on the stool next to him.

"Hello everyone!" Katsuki waved at the crowd.

"So yes, I'm 16, and most of you look really old to me." Katuki said, and the crowd laughed, a few of the class let out chuckles.

"My parents are old, they're in their 40s." Katsuki said, the crowd chuckling, "My parents are always like, your generation has got it so easy. You know back when we were kids we had it rough. Or things like, why can't you be like us when we were kids?" Katsuki paused, and the crowd chuckled.

"I can't be like you, because most of the stuff you did as kids is illegal now." Katsuki smiled, as the crown laughed out loud.

"I can't go to 7-11 and buy my grandparents cigarettes." Katsuki said, and the crowd yet again laughed.

"I can't hitchhike, I can't drink from a garden hose, I can't play with lawn darts, they were banned in 1988." Katsuki said, smiling as the crowd laughed. The class was still in shock that Katsuki Bakugou was a stand up comedian. Katsuki took a drink from his water as the crowd still laughed.

"I have my own set of challenges. When I ride my bike, I have to wear half a bowling ball on my head. Cause you know, safety's a thing now." The crowd laughed, and Katsuki took another drink of water.

"I didn't have an iphone from some of my life. I had to use a flip phone, you had to press a button 3 times to type the letter c." Katsuki laughed, and class laughed, getting his struggle.

"When my parents left the house, it would be back by dark, and don't get abducted, molested, or eaten, and HAVE FUN!" Katsuki said and smiled as the crowd laughed.

"But now if I wanna leave I have to have a whistle, and a binder filled with all near registered sex offenders." Katsuki said, then taking a sip of his water while the crowd laughed their asses off.

"It's thick too, lots of gym teachers, and priests." Katsuki said, the crowd continuing to laugh.

"I'm kidding, just a joke. The priests aren't registered!" Katsuki said, smiling. The crowd laughed and laughed.

"You know my teachers are no better than the students. They always act like NFL coaches talking behind folders to each other, talking shit about the students." Katsuki said and smiled as he heard the crowd laugh.

Katsuki covered his mouth and mic with one hand, and spoke into it, "See Momo over there, that kissass, had the audacity to remind me about the homework as I was about to dismiss the class. So I doubled it." Katsuki said, and Momo had a look of shock glued to her face. Katsuki still did not know the class was in the crowd.

"Or Denki, I don't know how he is in your class, but in mine, he is just bombing! I wanna fail him, just smack him in the face with a big fat F, but then I'd have to put up with his crap for another year." Katsuki said, and Denki now also had a look of shock on his face.

"Oh and Iida nice kid, but his parents UGH! I keep getting 10 paragraph emails about how he deserves more credit than he's getting! Well if his parents would stop sucking up to him, then he wouldn't cry like a little bitch every time I give a B-!" Katsuki said, the crowd laughing like maniacs. Iida now has a look of shock glued to his face, just like Denki and Momo. The rest of the class though, all of them were laughing so hard they had to wipe tears from their eyes. Even Todoroki was chuckling more than he usually does, and that's like none at all.

"I just wanna say something before I leave. Don't you, forget about me, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't you, forget about me!" The crowd laughed, and Katsuki smiled.

"Thank you!" Katsuki said as he grabbed his water, and put the mic back onto the stand. He walked up stage, waving to the crowd.

"We need to catch Bakugou, before he leaves!" Krishima said, the class agreeing, and standing up to go find him.

THe class had eventually found Bakugou outside talking to some people, his back turned to the class.

"Bakugou!" THe class yelled, and Katsuki immediately whipped around to see them.

"HAH!?!?" Katsuki screeched, "What are you guys doing here?" Katsuki asked, walking up to them.

"Oh we came to see some comedy, and we were lucky enough to see your show!" Izuku said.

"Really?" Katsuki asked.

"Yup, and you were hilarious!" Sero said.

"Oh thanks." Katsuki said.

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A/N: Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed. I appreciate feedback!

Requests are open!

bye bye~