Chapter Thirty

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~~Fucked Up~~


When she came into school the next morning, Aaliyah knew she had fucked up.

A lot of photos taken of her and Xavier whilst he took her around the city had enough time to go viral and circulate around the socials so the entire school knew exactly what she was doing on her day off from school. Including her teachers, so not only did she have to deal with detention that day, but she also had to deal with incredibly invasive questions about her and Xavier and Jacks, and all at the same time did she have to deal with the clawing sensation in her stomach that Aaliyah associated with her guilt after what happened between her and Xavier the night before.

They kissed for a while in the very confined space of the front of his Lexus. She wasn't sure why she was surprised, but Xavier was a very talented kisser. He knew all the right moves to pull, all the right ways to touch her as they kissed to make her melt and sigh and moan. Which, she supposed with his extensive experience it was a given. She knew she was doing a good job too, when he groaned or tried pushing her closer, it was gratifying. So was the stirring butterflies in her stomach.

Then she finally managed to pull away long enough to get away and upstairs to the apartment, still in a daze and it was only until she got up to the apartment and found the Waters' and Jacks sitting around in their living room waiting for her that the guilt toppled down on her head like a bunch of bowling balls falling off a shelf right onto her head.

Malcolm was the first to move when she stepped out of the elevator into the apartment and bundle her up in an almost suffocating bear hug. She yelped out in surprise before despite whatever resentment she had towards him, she hugged him back. Her guilt was crushing her and was heavy on her heart. Having someone who loved her regardless hug her like Malcolm did regardless of what there was between them, made that burden a little easier to bear. And witnessing the love Xavier had with his mother made her understand that maybe her relationship with Malcolm wasn't as long-lasting as the traditional parent-child relationship, it felt the same to her anyway.

They figured out where she had been when pictures of Aaliyah and Xavier at the Statue of Liberty started trending on Twitter a few hours after it had been taken. Apparently, they had all been worried about where she'd been since she wasn't responding to anyone's texts or calls. It wasn't even until then that Aaliyah noticed that Jen and Malcolm had been calling her too. The guilt only just piled on more and more until she felt sick to her stomach. She didn't think that everyone would worry about her so much. She didn't think much about anyone. It was selfish, and now she had stressed out some of the people closest to her. Her family.

She didn't know what else to say or do except to apologize. She didn't have an explanation for why she decided to go radio silent. Or at least not an explanation she could find good enough. She felt as though she was on the verge of tears, but she didn't want to do that and give everyone a reason to feel sorry for her. She was the villain here, not everyone else. She was the one downstairs kissing a boy, who wasn't her boyfriend for that matter, whilst the rest of her family was going out of their minds wondering if she was dead. And that included her boyfriend.

She finally got the opportunity to be alone with Jacks after everyone had their time and Aaliyah couldn't but feel overwhelmed with guilt and self-loathing and love for Jacks when he came over to hug her tightly. She felt an inch away from breaking and tearing up. She knew she fucked up then too. "Jacks, I'm so sorry for everything," She said trying to keep her voice steady, "Nothing that's happened between us warranted what I did today. And I care about you so much. So much. It was selfish and my reasons for doing it seem to lose its value now."

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