Chapter Thirty-Three

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~~Loneliness~~

Aaliyah usually hated mornings, even more so in the last few weeks since she'd barely catch a wink of sleep if she was lucky.

Yet somehow, even on the two hours of sleep, she managed to catch after Xavier left and she put a groggy Jenny in her bed, she was filled with energy. She supposed that's what music did.

After she left Jenny's room she grabbed her notebook and a few pens from her room and made a bee-line for the piano on the balcony. It was a little chilly considering it was the middle of the night, but she stayed there for hours perfecting Xavier's song. Talking genuinely to Xavier again, brought the song back to the forefront of her memory, and she was barely able to forget it. Not when lyrics kept dancing around in her brain, lyrics and notes, and key changes. When she and Xavier stopped recording it, it was almost finished. They spent the day around the city trying to finish it, and all her notes on it were written into her notebook. It definitely helped, it gave her something to bounce off. It gave her Xavier to bounce her ideas off of. Since they worked with each other, her music process did become a lot more entwined with his, writing alone didn't feel the same as it had before. She needed Xavier to match her energy when she sang, to correct her key when she sang, or to play the harmony to her melody. They complimented each other, and it became a lot harder to write when he wasn't there. Her notes were going to have to be a substitute.

She only dragged herself to bed, satisfied with what she came up with when she noticed that the sky was starting to get lighter, but it was hardly enough, not like that was anything different. But this time, she was only buzzing with energy and anticipation, wondering how she was going to tell Xavier that she wanted to record Around you.

She barely managed to get a slice of toast in her mouth before she was already rushing out of the apartment that morning. It was barely eight o'clock and she knew the only person awake would have been Malcolm, but most likely he would have already been at the label, as per usual. She supposed that was better, she needed to be able to let Malcolm know about recording another song two weeks before her album drop.

As important as those few technicalities were, Aaliyah could hardly spend another minute thinking about anything else but Xavier's face. He might already be at the label too. He spent most of the day at the label, it was more his home than his actual place. She kept imagining his reaction to how she would surprise him, she still didn't quite know what it would be yet, but she knew it had to be something special. Something that could convince him, because she had to. And after she shot the song down the first time, she knew it wouldn't be easy. She didn't know what it meant, her determination to make him want to help her record the song, she knew what she felt whilst she was making it last night. She knew who she was thinking of, and how a huge part of her should feel guilty about it, but her excitement seemed to be overriding every other appropriate emotion.

It was only when her cab stopped in front of the label that her anxiety started to settle in and big questions started to float in her brain. Questions that almost had her turn away at the door, but somehow she was doing it. She remembered Lauryn. She was the one, who taught her to stand up for herself. Lauryn was probably the reason she was even here right now, and she knew what she would tell her if she was here right now.

"How do you expect people to take you seriously if even you don't?" She would tell her with her trademark smile, "Know what you want and make other people want it just as much. Be bold, and show no fear. People will feel what you feel."

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