Someplace Like Home |n.j

1.

Nami:
waves of the sea

It felt like a nuisance, my uncooperative mind that was now replaying the events of this afternoon.

I'd gone to the cafe to work on a commission, like my usual routine, when Yua, if I remembered her name correctly, came storming with a cup of cold coffee grasped tightly in the hold of her stubby fingers. She was a friend from my third, and previous move. No different than my usual procedure, I changed all my contact information and departed without warning, without goodbyes.

As unbelievable as it is, the friends I make are never the hardest to leave behind. They were always simply necessities to help maintain a social life; a health-wise need. They were replaceable, whether it be because of my inability to feel attachment or simply my reluctance to.

This is the first time I'd moved outside of Japan.I've lived in Korea for a while now, leaving me with a year left before my next move.

I was outside of Japan, residing peacefully in Ilsan on my own. So tell me why, even as I'm farthest away from any cities I've been, I still managed to run into someone from a previous stay, for the first time of all times? What were the chances? She showed up like a glitch. Yua wasn't supposed to be in this life. I wasn't supposed to see her again.

I took the walk of shame back to my flat later this afternoon, drenched in iced coffee with the memory of Yua shouting in my face; as politely as she could act in a public place. Apparently, she visited as a tourist, and I'd ruined her entire trip.

I could easily overlook her outburst as a bizarre occurrence in my day, or take it as a funny joke. So why have I decided to let it affect me so much that I am now drowning in alcohol at a bar I've never been to?

The words she'd thrown at me couldn't just pass through my ears like I'd trained myself to do. I was always good at filtering whatever I wished, and kept myself content with my path. But she was stuck in my brain, and for the first time, I had no formula to shut it out.

"We thought you were in danger, that you went missing. We had people search for you all over the place." That part didn't even shake me yet. I was still livid over the fact that I was drenched in her drink. If she had thrown it just a little more to the side, she would've gotten my computer.

She spoke in Japanese, a language I haven't used in a while, "You left nothing! And you said nothing! I've never seen someone so self-centered, I cannot believe I spent so much time thinking that we were best friends, I thought I'd never had someone like you in my life before. I treasured you so much." I don't think I cared about her, or anyone, nearly as much as she did for me. I never let myself, anyway.

" If you make a mess, you get back and clean it up. If you create something beautiful, you tend to it and let it grow.. You can't just abandon people whenever you please, you can't just pick up your ass and leave everything behind. Real life isn't like that! You've got some real issues, Nami. I don't know if I'm the one to make you realize that, or someone else, but you're gonna have these problems catch up to you. Running away won't do you good."

Maybe I haven't been exploring or been on some journey. Maybe I'm just full of bullshit, and I've been running away from everything. Maybe Yua is right.

Maybe.

But I don't want to think about that tonight. Or ever.

"...Miss?" My body felt like it weighed of a whale's as I laid my face flat on the bar table. I had my arms sprawled over the surface, eyes half opened with my conscious blurred.

A tap on my cheek was ineffective as I remained unable to respond. Poor guy, if only I was sober enough to hear the fluster in his voice.

"It is one in the morning, and our bar must close now. You need to leave." The bartender notified in a tone as tender as he could make it. The bar was no longer loud and filled with the deafening noise of chatter. It was quiet, accompanied by sounds of the janitor sweeping away the remains of today's events, and the waiters cleaning the glasses off the tables.

"Miss, where do you live? I can get you a cab." He was responded with silence.

A barely audible pep talk between himself ensued until he sighed and finally came to a decision, "Miss, would you mind staying at my place for the night? I won't take you anywhere without permission."

I pulled my arms to my head and rested in a more comfortable position. His voice was annoying, like a mother waking up an unwilling child every five minutes.
I want nothing more than to plug my ears.

"Miss? I'm going to bring you to my motorcycle." He went out of the booth and stopped next to me, "I'm gonna touch you now, is that alright?"

It seems like I had no other option than to reply. I let out a grunt. It's really the best I can give him right now.

The rest of the night passed by like a blur. All I could make out were the furious grunts of struggle as he tried to keep me on the motorcycle throughout the ride, and eventually the shuffling of what sounded like blankets being put over me.