Someplace Like Home |n.j

27.

She stood there like the world was ending, and for a second I started believing that too.

I dropped everything on the spot the moment I saw those eyes sparkle. I threw the cloth onto the side of the sink and rushed out of the counter. I couldn't even see the startled glances from the customers and my co-workers. My sight was narrow at this point, and it only saw Nami.

She came back.

"Nami," I held her by her shoulders and watched her body rock back weakly. Something happened. The colour was drained from her lips and her skin, as if it wasn't pale enough usually. Her eyes were empty and gone. She's looking at me, but it feels as if she's looking through me.

I didn't know what better thing to do than to pull her into my embrace, so that's what I did. Nami's body was cold against mine as always, but today she felt light, and even weak. I kissed her crown as if I'd been doing it for years as I stroked her head. I don't know why I did that, or why it felt so natural. I was just so happy to see her, even if she was seconds from breaking.

Nami wrapped her arms right around my waist, and my heart sinks when I feel her shoulder shake in my hold. Her restricted sobs eventually broke free and her grasp on my uniform only got tighter the longer she cried. Time was frozen, I started wondering if she'd ever stop crying. I couldn't see an end to it.

I closed my eyes and shut out the concerned looks from the crowd and rested my cheek on her head, letting her hair rub against my skin. I've never held her so closely, and I've never had her hug me back like this before. Things felt normal, even though I know it's far from that. It's Nami's birthday today, and she's sobbing her soul out.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," I mumbled foolishly, my lips tickled against the strands of her hair. I had every right to yell and to be upset that night, but I never wanted to hurt her, even if she lets me.

She cried even harder then.

***

I brought her out to the curb and sat her down. I'd asked her if she wanted a drink. She said no, to my surprise. Nami never refuses alcohol. She drinks more alcohol than water, despite her horrible tolerance. Maybe that's the whole point.

I told her I'd head back inside to get her a glass of water, and she looked up at me from below with those sad round eyes, as if she didn't want me to leave her alone, not even for a few seconds. But she nodded silently and had her gaze on me as I walked off.

Now I'm back at the curb, watching Nami stare into the warm glass of water that she was holding carefully between her two hands.

"It's your birthday today," I mentioned quietly. Nami nodded so subtly that I wouldn't have noticed it if I wasn't staring at her like always.

"I uh-" Her voice retrieved weakly with a purse of her lips. Nami blinks away another tear and swallows harshly, "I turned twenty seven today. I woke up and realized how stupid I've been all this time,"

"You're not stupid-"

"No, I am, Namjoon. I am," She laughed bitterly, and my eyes trail to the index finger scratching against the glass nervously.

"I just thought...I'm twenty-seven, I'm supposed to be married, to have a child, or maybe be settled down in some boring house in some boring town. But I instead I'm out here-You know...something you said that day wouldn't leave my head," Nami turned her head to look at me, "You said I couldn't just abandon people whenever I wanted."

She dropped her gaze back down and shrugged, "I thought I could. I-I thought it was okay, because...that's how I've always been. I survived by leaving people,"