⭐Winner 2022 Amby's Award for Mystery/Thriller⭐
⭐Wattpad Editor's Pick⭐
⭐Honorable Mention - 2021 Punk Rock Awards - Teen Fiction⭐
A love letter inside the cover of a mixtape. A sweet guy with sandy blond hair and the guts to tell a girl how he fee...
It's dark. I haven't put my light on. The only light is from the porchlight we forgot to turn off coming through my open curtain. I lie on my bed still in my dinner clothes. The smell of the pub and the outside air is on me. The mixtape is in my hand, and I run my finger over the message inside the sleeve. I've memorised it. It's only a few words, but I know it means something.
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Whoever wrote it obviously liked my mum a lot; wanted her to know how they felt without being too obvious. It's the 'x' at the end that reveals everything. It's so small but so significant. It's not like a text, where you can try it out, delete it if it doesn't feel right. It's written down. In pen. On paper. It's there forever. A forever declaration of a potentially momentary feeling. I think about the cassette player in the lounge next door and the secrets it might reveal when I find the right time to play the tape.
Above the familiar whispering of the leaves of the gum trees that surround the footy oval over the road, Ben and Mum are mumbling in the kitchen. They've been going for over an hour. I want to listen in, but I can't do that to her. Or Ben. Whatever it is, it doesn't involve me.
I want to text Minda but I know she's got enough to worry about without having to worry about me too, so I text Finn instead.
Sorry I acted weird.
He texts back straight away. It's fine J.
I text, R u ok?
I look through the list of songs on the mixtape. I don't think the song Ben played is one of them. Maybe finding the tape wasn't a good idea. Whatever happened back then must've been bad for Mum to react like that. But I also wonder what other secrets the tape holds. Maybe, like Minda says, I should forget all about it. It's not like knowing who my dad is now, is going to change anything is it?
The room lights up for a second as a text from Finn appears on my screen.
FWIW just really like u, J.
A second message comes straight through.
It's a blushing face emoji.
I smile and my heart swells. I'm chuffed Finn likes me. I'm chuffed he has the balls to admit it. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do that. Especially since it went down so badly at the beach before.
I text him back straight away.
Glad u told me. Everyone at school ranks u high on their hot list.
Do u?
Sizzling.
SRSLY, J.
Doors open and close outside my room. I lie still and wonder if anyone will knock on my door; see if I'm okay. I listen to the sofa bed being set up and noises from the bathroom. Our house is so small I can hear the toilet flush. Then the sharp blade of hall light goes from under my door and, apart from the gentle swoosh of the leaves outside, it's quiet.
