Finding Abby

11

When we hit the highway, we relax and roll the windows down. I sink deep into the seat as the briny sea breeze brushes against my skin. I take off my trainers and put my bare feet up on the dashboard.

Finn has both hands on the steering wheel, concentrating on driving at a hundred. He's got his sunglasses on and, with his choppy hair flicking across his forehead in the draft, he reminds me less of a soap-packet kid and more like a poster boy from a Seventies surf magazine.

He keeps checking over at me and I keep telling him to keep his eyes on the road. I want to look at the newspaper articles I'd found, and Mum's notebook, but I've had about ten missed calls from Ben. None from my Mum. But I wouldn't expect any, anyway. I shut my phone off. Then Finn's phone keeps ringing, so we shut his off too.

I've put the mixtape into the cassette player, fumbling with the buttons until I realise I have to twist the volume, so it clicks to turn on.

"You sure you want to listen to the tape now?" Finn glances at me as I adjust the volume on the Nirvana song.

"I think so," I say. Knowing it was from my dad has made it easier to listen to. And because I've got mum's notebook in my bag, my dad's woven friendship band around my wrist and an address to my future — and my past — in my pocket, I feel strong and pumped to listen to it. Nothing's going to hold me back from now on. Especially not a few songs.

"Okay." Finn smiles across at me. "Let's do this."

Side One is full of bands we know and some bands I don't know but Finn does. He tells me about them as we cruise down the highway. Each song is so different to the last. And each song fills me with hope that the further away we get from Koroit the closer we are to finding my dad.

"Do you reckon I'll get done for stealing the car or just you?" Finn asks as he's overtaken by a mini-bus full of tourists who stare at the car and point at us through the windows. Finn gives them breezy three-fingered wave without taking his hand off the wheel.

"You might be an accessory."

"Is this going to affect us getting into uni?"

"I don't reckon Ben will haul us into the court rooms if that's what you're worried about."

"I'd be pissed off if someone stole my Sandman," Finn smiles over at me. "But I feel like a rockstar driving it at a hundred."

"Thanks for coming," I smile back.

As we'd headed out of Koroit, I'd told Finn what happened with Mum and Ben and the tape. I didn't mention the notebook. Finn took it all in his stride without adding any opinions. It struck me how opposite he was to Minda who would've had a thousand things to say and probably wouldn't have come with me. She might have curled up with me on her bed and watched a movie with me and told me let mum tell me when she's ready.

Finn nods and keeps his eyes to the front. He doesn't dare to change lanes even though we're right up the back of a slow-moving cattle-truck. I like how he's so rebellious. But not. Wafts of manure and uneasy animals seep into the car and I wind my window up.

"You know next year," he says, "you reckon we'll see each other much?"

I stare out the side window. I've applied for uni in Melbourne and so has Finn. But different ones. I turn back to him. "I hope so. But, I mean, if I don't get a scholarship --"

"You'll get a scholarship," Finn says decidedly. "With your swimming, you're in already."

"I'm gonna miss practice this week," I say, knowing I'm supposed to keep training through the holidays.

"Will it make a difference?"

"Don't know," I say. But I kind of don't really care about any of that. I push myself back into the seat and forget about it. "I can't wait to get out of there though."