Finding Abby

14

The morning light shines through the front windows of the Sandman van, creating a warm glow through the curtains. My mouth and my eyes are dry. My head is slightly achy. I check my limbs, not sure if I'm supposed to feel any different after what Finn and I did. Not sure if I'll look different to Finn and everyone when they see me. It's weird. I'm the same apart from the sting of stubble rash around my mouth and the weird sensation of not being sure what I'm supposed to think or feel right now.

A noise behind my head makes me jump. Clutching the sleeping bag around my chin I turn around and slide the curtain open a little. A parking ticket is being slotted under the windscreen wiper.

Finn is on his side, fast asleep, beside me. His eyelashes are brushed closed and he looks peaceful. A brief image of the picture of his dad with the singer from Silent Moth pops into my head. I wonder what Finn will look like when he's the same age as his dad. Whether he'll be a puffy version of his eighteen year-old-self or if he'll stay lean and healthy.

But, as I wake up, I realise I can't afford to be wondering about Finn twenty years from now. What we did last night was idiotic. I have to go to a chemist. Right now. I have to make sure this doesn't turn into something bigger than it needs to be.

Trying to be as quiet as I can, I prise open my bag; grab clean clothes. Finn murmurs and turns away from me, drawing the sleeping bag tight around his shoulders. I tug on fresh underwear and jeans and a fresh t-shirt. My armpits waft up at me. I really need a shower.

I push on Finn's shoulder a little bit; whisper his name. When he opens his eyes, he smiles up at me and murmurs "Hey," then he sees the look on my face.

"I need to find a chemist," I say, searching inside my bag for my wallet. "Right now." The money I took from Ben's wallet flutters out and I grab it; shove it in my pocket.

Finn rubs his eyes with his fists; scratches his fingers through his hair and sits up. It takes him a few moments to fully realise what I'm saying.

"Did we ... yeah, right. Fuck." I see his expression change as the whole night comes back to him; then it dawns on him too, that what we did—while it was sweet and special—wasn't the cleverest thing to do.

"Exactly."

"I'll come with you, J. What time is it? We'll get brekkie, yeah?" he says.

"I love how the morning after pill and breakfast are the same priority level for you," I laugh.

"Well, they both involve sausages and eggs, right?" Finn chuckles and pushes the sleeping bag down to his waist then pauses when we both realise he's naked.

"Speaking of sausages..." I find his boxers behind me and toss them at him.

"Grow up, J," he smirks and I'm so relieved what happened last night hasn't changed how we are with each other.

While he dresses, I turn my phone on. It takes a while to load and as soon as it does the battery percentage goes down to five. I consider texting Minda the news, but I don't want to. If she doesn't approve of me stealing the van, she definitely won't approve of me getting it on with Finn the first time I ever kiss him. And I want to make sure I get everything sorted out at the chemist first then I can relax about it. It's eight in the morning. I turn my phone off before it has a chance to download any new messages or calls.

We're so busy getting ready that neither of us realise someone is knocking on the back door of the van until the handle turns and sunlight streams in as the door lifts up.

"Can we help you?" Finn grins, tugging his t-shirt down.

A woman stands outside the van holding a small fair-haired kid on her hip. The kid has one finger in his mouth and he's resting his cheek on her shoulder staring at us with big, blank grey eyes. She jiggles up and down on the spot waving a piece of paper at us.