Love is Pain, Pain is love by L. Glz

Chapter 1

PIC ON NATALIE ^

I sat there on my bed thinking of him, the way he touches me, the way he kisses me. If this isn't love i don't know what is. I never knew what love was until Christian came into my life. Sometimes i feel like i can't breath without him next to me. I just want to be next to him and see him smile, hear his deep, soothing voice. Nobody understands why im still here holding on to him. Sometimes i do want to let go and just go back to my old self. This love makes me feel so alive and yet it also makes me feel so dead inside. I feel like im on top of the world when im with him, when he text me, when he calls me. He literally takes my breath away. But let me get back to the point and start from the beginning of how all this occured.

I remember like if it was yesterday when i was freaking out to my bestfriend Jasmine that the guy i liked for over 3 years told me he liked me since we started talking. Literally i felt like i had a zoo in my stomach. Ivan had finally told me he felt the same way i felt for him. The thing is he had a girlfriend at the time so that stopped me there. I wasn't going to ruin a relationship but i was so fed up with holding my feelings in. Everytime one of us was single the other was in a relationship so it never worked out. I felt like i needed to get it all of it off my chest because i knew if i never told him i would never be able to move on. I felt like all my past relationships never worked because of him. We started taking things serious when i found out his football team was going to play my school football team. The thing is we never met in those 3 years we were bestfriends. There was always something that would come up when we would decide to meet up so it never worked out.

The day of the game Jasmine had come over so we could walk to the football field together and watch Ivan play.

"What are you going to do when he comes up to you?" jasmine said with a serious face expression.

"I don't know, i'm really scared on what could happen when we're face to face! i don't even know if he's still with his girl.. he said they were having problems but idk.. im just nervous" I said while I put my shoes on as we got ready to leave.

We walked up to the field entrance and started walking to the bleachers. The game had already started, it was about 20 minutes into the game. I was cheering Ivan on as he played and cheering my boys on from our school team. Our team was obviously losing, like always! It was a pretty easy game for Ivan's team. As i cheered both teams on i was getting more nervous the more we got into the game and the closer it got to being over.

"They're pretty good players" said jasmine. "But then again, anyone is better then our team" she said jokingly.

"Yeah your right..haha"

The game was over and obviously Ivan's team won the game. Everyone was starting to leave and wait for the guys outside of the field. I was getting pretty nervous and just wanted to run and leave back home. I dont know what was going on with me cause this never happened to me before. I'm such an outgoing girl and would speak to anyone even if i had a crush on them, but this was the first time I was going to be face to face with Ivan.

"He's coming toward us!!" jasmine said "go up to him, i'll wait on you by the fence."

"NOOOOO! stay with me pleaseee! idk what im going to say to him." I said

He was walking toward us and he seems really tired. His shirt was off so you could see his six pack all shiny from the sweat. You looked directly at me with a big smile. That smile was amazing and with his perfect teeth. I dont know but my legs started to feel weak and my palms started to feel sweaty. You could definetly say i was nervous. I had butterflys, well i think thats what it was.

"Hey princess" Ivan said with that perfect smile of his.

"Hey, we finally met face to face!" hugging him tightly.

Ivan, Jasmine, and i begin to walk down the street with all the other players in front of us. We begin to just talk about how our day was going and stuff like that. Obviously we were playing around alot and joking like if we we're bestfriends since forever. The time was flying and i didnt even notice what time it was. We walked to the park right by my house and of course jasmine went to go do something else so she wouldn't interrupt us or anyhting. We (Ivan and I) started talking about everything walking around the park. Somehow we started wrestling and you can tell he was letting me win.

"NAT we got to go! my moms almost at your house. Its getting late" said jasmine

"okay well let me say bye , give me a minute i will be there in a sec"

We got up from the grass and were talking about when we were going to hangout next time. We both decided to just text about it and since he was so tall i gave him a hug on my tippy toes. As i was pushing away our eyes met. You know them kissing scenes in movies? thats how it felt like. We both looked into eachothers eyes and then our lips. WE KISSED. It was a very long one too. I dont know but it just felt right. We both smiles and just said our goodbyes.

As i was walking away i saw jasmine give me the "Look" haha.

"omg! you guys kissed! does he kiss good? NATALIE!!!!"

"I know!.....but...... i shouldn't have"

"what why? aren't you happy?" jasmine said confused

"I dont know.. i dont know if he still has a girlfriend"

"WAIT! what?! what do you mean????" jasmine said

"Like, on facebook he still has that hes in a relaionship with that girl.. his girlfriend or whatever she is."

"Dude stop playing! talk to him about it !!" jasmine said

"i'll see.. i just need to process all this before i say something"

When we got home hell broke lose. Both my parents and my older sister were right in the living room talking. I didn't even get through the door before my mom started yelling at both me and jasmine asking where we were at.

"Where the fuck you been mija! you got me worried. i went out to looked for you at the soccer field! this is the last time i let you go out. Matter a fact you wont go to the school dance with jasmine!" my mom said
"You know how the city is right now with all the people getting kidnapped! next time call and take your phone !" my sister said.

"Okay whatever im go to my room." i said angrly

I slammed my door closed and started venting to jasmine.

"what the fuck! i cant go anymore. Im so pissed now."
"Its okay maybe they'll let you go" Jasmine said
"Like if you know how my parents are! they wont let me go. there minds are set and nothing will changed that"
"well you never know, but i need to go my moms outside waiting for me, i'll see you at school"

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