Darkness and Hope

Chapter 78

A month passed with a blink of an eye...

"Jesus, I am almost sleeping on this table." I complained, hearing one of the new songs for the tenth time.

The album was done and we were just adjusting the last details and that was a work that was done by me with James and Lars in the studio but it was a very cautious and careful work and it took time to arrange all the little details and unwanted noises our double voices or whatever we wanted to do with it.

"This part is so boring..." James complained as well. "We have been listening to the fucking songs for a whole week now!"

Yes, and during that week we completely missed on our kids and spent little or none time with them. Katy was the one picking them up at school and we would pick them up at her house when they were already sleeping. James and I were feeling terrible for doing that but we were just trying to get the album ready and done and gone.

"We're just missing three songs." Lars said but I also could feel a bit of despair in his voice.

"I think we should double your voice on this bit." I said stopping the tape and rewinding it. "Here.." I pressed play again.

James was not even paying attention. I looked at him and he was looking at his watch.

"It's past midnight..." He commented out of the blue. I looked at him and our gaze locked. "Happy birthday, mommy." He said.

It was our kids first anniversary and we weren't even at home with them. We were not like that. That wasn't us at all.

"Happy birthday, guys." Lars greeted us, tapping on James's back.

"Happy birthday, daddy." I said kissing his lips but James looked sad.

"We're not even with them." He said.

"It's for another cause. If it's not like this we won't finish this album never." I said.

"Still..." He said resting his arms on the back of his head and stretching his legs. "Is it an album more important than our kids?"

"No..." I said.

"It was just this week James." Lars said trying to calm him down but James wasn't mad or angry. He was just sad and maybe extremely tired.

We were drained.

"I know Lars, but I don't feel good doing this. At least tonight we should have been there with them and when we pick them up now they will be sleeping. They are sleeping already." I grabbed his hand and truth was I thought he was so right.

That week had been hell for me. I missed my kids above everything and the bit we were with them in the morning wasn't enough. I needed to spend more time with them and doing this made me feel less of a mother.

"We finish this song and we go. At least tomorrow it's day off." I supported him. Lars nodded.

"Yeah, at least tomorrow we all have time to be with our kids. What time is the party?"

"It starts at 4 o'clock because they will sleep a bit after lunch and they usually wake up around that time but if you want to come up sooner, feel free." I said.

"Ok. Now let's finish this shit." Lars mumbled. "I can't fucking hear James's voice any longer." He complained and that actually made James laugh and me.

"Ok, this part." I played again. They listened to it attentively and James frowned.

"I don't know..." He said. I looked at him hopeless. I knew he didn't want to work any longer and I pressed stop again.