Darkness and Hope

Chapter 82

I grabbed my kids, my laptop, our extremely stuffed bags, and I left on tour with my husband. Families gathered together for a crazy nonstop vacation. Three months filed with shows with just a few days in between to wind up and relax and spend some time with family.

"Tell James I am not feeling well." I told Phil before I left my husband on stage entertaining 40.000 Irish.

My 15-month twins were cranky and wanting to sleep and I wasn't feeling very well. Our driver took me back to the hotel and then came back to wait for James. The twins fell asleep on my way back to the hotel. I think it was a bit too much to ask a baby to cope with a rock n' roll schedule. Sometimes they did, others they didn't and that day was one of the occasions when they didn't. They had spent the whole afternoon playing backstage so they were drained. I put them in bed and I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I looked down at the basin and smiled. I had a reason for being sick after all. I knew since the beginning but James didn't have a clue. I wanted to surprise him. Ever since I was late that my suspicions began to take place. Then, there was a bit of sickness and finally I made the test. I left it on the basin to surprise James later.

After cooling down, I grabbed my laptop, put it down on my knees and I began to work on my book. Officially a book because I decided, under James agreement, to publish it. It wasn't hard to find someone interested in it and so I was busy writing it the best way I could. It was a sad biography with a happy ending, I called it. Two twin souls meeting and taking care of each other, healing each other, but that wasn't a fairytale it was a real story with real feelings, with real struggles, with two real people falling and then rising. The book was centered on me, on my life, on my struggles, on my problems, on my feelings but James inevitably was in it. Things he told me, his own struggles, some of the feelings he shared with me and there I had his agreement to leave it all there. He was very supportive of this project and I was thrilled of doing it.

The door of the room closing made me take my eyes off my work and look back. James walked around the couch fast until he was in front of me and then crouched.

"Are you alright?" He asked. His hair was still wet and the scent of freshly shower filled the room. I nodded.

"I am fine. They were a bit cranky too, always crying. I think you drained them this afternoon." I smiled.

"I drained them?" James asked pretending he was indignant. "Mommy, ever since they began to walk that they can't stay still in one place. I just made them happy." I smiled and kissed his lips. I was dying to tell him why I wasn't feeling good.

"You have something for you in the bathroom." I told him to force him to go there.

James raised an eyebrow and I just motioned him a hand to go. He got up and left without saying anything else. It took some time until I heard his steps back. I smiled and took my eyes of the computer again. James brought the test and waved it in front of my eyes with his eyes shining.

"Really?" He asked with a wonderful smile.

I nodded smiling as well. Knowing I was pregnant again made things so perfect and tender.

"Our baby is here." I said rubbing my belly. James kissed my lips taking his time on them and then strayed.

"Wonderful news." He said rubbing my belly. All of a sudden, his eyes watered and he couldn't hold his tears.

"Aw baby..." I said cleaning his tears and planting kisses all over his face.

"I love you so much Ade, really... there aren't words to describe the way I love you. I am so happy."