Hardened (A Yogscast Fanfiction)

9

        Sjin sat at the front, staring down at his compass with concentration contorting his face. I was in the back, pulling rhythmically on the ores as I paddled us onward. I didn't mind the burn in my arms and shoulders, for rowing required enough thought that my mind couldn't wander from the task, but I wasn't mentally straining myself.

        I held up the ores for a second as I looked across the ocean. We were surround by water for miles, but the relax confidence that Sjin held about him helped to assuage my fears. Long, finger-like weeds grew up through the water, reaching up through the murk for sunlight. Squid weaved through the seaweed and milfoil, occasionally greeting us near the surface when they dared to get close enough. The slight breeze and lap of the water against the wooden sides of the boat were calming, and I felt content as the first stars began dotting the skis.

        "Do you need a break?" Sjin asked as he turned around, noticing us slowing to a gentle crawl as the waves pushed on forwards.

        I shook myself out of my thoughts, focusing on rowing once more. I shook my head and repositioned myself on the bench to get into a more comfortable arrangement. Sjin stood and placed a hand on mine as I raised the ores, about to dip the broad end of the paddle into the water. "You need to eat," he insisted.

        My stomach growled with the thought, and Sjin huffed out a breath that could almost constitute as a laugh when he heard my response. I pulled in the ores as Sjin dug out some berries and bread out of his pack. Handing half of the rations to me, he sat across from me and we ate in silence as the sky inked from pink to grey to black.

        Sjin wiped his beard of any excess debris. "You need to sleep," he said, more of a command than a suggestion, as I was about to start rowing again. He picked his way to me and pulled out a blanket from the pack at my feet. He threw it to me and began clearing a space on the floor of the boat large enough for me to fit in it. I started pealing off my armor and arranging my extra set of clothes into a lump that would form as my pillow.

        I was about to pull the blanket over me when I felt the boat lurch forward. Sjin sat where I had just been, muscles bulging as he propelled us through the water. I felt a blush of anger creep up my neck, and I was thankful he couldn't see it in the low light. "You need to sleep too," I pointed out.

        "I'm fine," he grunted, pushing the ores into the water once again.

        I stood up and placed my hand on his as he raise the ores, mimicking his gesture from earlier. The stars shined brilliantly, yet I still found myself inches from Sjin in an efforts to see his face. "You said the current was moving us in the right direction anyway," I told him, worried that he might collapse from exhaustion if he kept it up like this.

        "Kirby," he sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder, "You paddled all afternoon and wouldn't let me take over to give you a break, I promise you I'm more than willing to finally do some work." The farmer squeezed my shoulder and he may ever have smiled, though through the darkness I couldn't tell.

        "You stayed up all night last night to prepare for the trip," I accused. "I'm not letting you skip out on anymore rest."

        "I have to keep watch anyway..." he said, giving me a lame excuse.

        I pulled on his arm. "Nothing's going to happen in open water," I said, letting my voice pitch into a whine.

        He seemed to pause, ores suspended in front of him, but then sighed and got up. I celebrated internally as he hung the paddles on the sides of the boat and pulled up the planks of wood that served as our seats to make more room. I laid back down as Sjin took of his leathers and pushed a few boxes around in attempts to maximize our sleeping area.

        I wiggled until I was against the wood of the boat, but it didn't do much for room when Sjin laid down. Our shoulders and hips dug into each other, and every small shift made it more uncomfortable. Sjin's long legs were bent upwards in order to fit, and even my short legs were butted up against a crate of potatoes. I rolled onto my side away from Sjin and tried to curl my legs up, but swore when my knees hit the side of the boat. He followed my lead, but the position only pressed our backsides awkwardly together, so that idea was quickly abandoned.

        "I guess there isn't room anyway..." I muttered, sitting up and rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment. I had secretly been looking forward to sleeping next to Sjin, but it didn't seem like either of us were going to be able to sleep at this rate. I was going to let him return to his post for a few hours and then give him his turn when I was rested, but my thought was cut off when I felt a hand tug on my shoulder and an arm threaded around my lower rib cage, pulling me back down.

        The farmer wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and I settled my head wordlessly into the hollow his shoulder and collarbone made. I got comfortable on my side and turned my head up towards him as I laid my hand on his chest, as if to ask for permission. He was staring up at the sky, not looking me in the eye, but a rough hand came and rested itself around my wrist, answering my silent question.

        This tender behavior was so unlike him; though he continued to surprise me more often with these type of actions. I wondered where this was going as I listened to the slight thumping of Sjin's heart, the steady rhythm causing my heart to match his. Was he softening towards me? It sure seemed like it, for it was becoming easier to convince him of things, and adding on the small gestures and silent care he was always preforming, one could conclude that he may even feel more than friendship towards me.

        I stiffened with that thought. I hadn't wanted to address it, but it was obvious I had feelings for this man. Had I been so preoccupied with ignoring my feelings that I had also ignored the small signals from his as well? I felt my heart flutter with frustration; he was so complicated. Every move, every action, and every gesture was weighted with something, yet he hid so much that they did only to confuse me more. With everything I had learned about Sjin, he was still a stranger to me. If only he opened up to me about his feelings, I might either confirm or dismiss my hypothesis.

        I didn't want to move in case he was asleep, but I also wanted to test my theory. Gingerly, I brought up my leg to wrap around one of his, trying to gauge his reaction. The arm around my shoulders tightened and Sjin shifted so that we were pressed even closer against each other. His beard tickled my forehead and hairline, and my thoughts were momentarily halted by the scent of pine and earth that wafted from his pulse point.

        I swallowed, taking that as definite proof. My head swam with thoughts, about his past, about the short past we shared that was ever growing. I wondered about my servitude towards him, which should have probably ended a while ago with the work I had put in. Even my room at his house was now more familiar and comforting than my old burned down shack that I had equated with home. I couldn't sleep with the thoughts tumbling around in my head, but the biggest one of all was what continued to keep me up.

        Him.

        We fit together like we were made for one another. Everywhere his skin touched mine radiated with heat and electricity, as if I were recharging off of his contact. The hand around my wrist was rough and calloused, but it made my heart beat with longing for it's touch on the rest of my skin. I was intoxicated with how he made me feel, and though we'll probably both deny what happened tomorrow morning, just for tonight I let my mind wander to a world where Sjin was completely mine.