Anger and Sadness seemed to be quite intertwined. So much so that they often get confused with one another when they become too much to handle for a person. Stress and Anxiety both being a state where both of those emotions reside. When the stress begins to build she feels the frustration rising and she thinks she might explode. She takes a deep breath. She wants to scream, she wants to shout until her lungs feel her pain and throw a tantrum while beating her hands on to the ground. She wants to speak out, but she doesn't want to say things that she doesn't mean, be hurtful. It's just so easy to be cruel in that moment and then the damage is done. So many times she's wanted to unsay things, take them back. It gets A Little Worse.
Emotions. The very thing that make us human.
She wakes as if it's an emergency, her heart beating fast with a buzzing in her brain. Burrowing herself further into the warm, soft sheets she attempted to ignore the noise coming from beyond her door. They were always loud in the mornings even if they were tired. Her thoughts quickly drifted back to her dream, it wasn't as odd or off putting as the other ones had been. From the carousel of random dreams comes the one where she kissed a member of her group and another where she was in a car accident on her way to the KQ building, they had been random. They're all different yet somehow all relate to her life and sometimes what she's been through...at least within the last couple of years. She often spent her mornings analyzing wondering if there was ever some time of meaning behind them.
The voices were getting closer. Her eyelids flicker over to the door once more. She closes them again, willing the carousel to return, for her mind to tumble back to dreams, but it won't. Especially when someone is now knocking on her door reminding her of the tasks of the day demanding to be done. With the clearing of her throat she stated that they had permission to enter and so they did. A little too happy with how early it was. She let out a groan as Seonghwa turned on the lights and announced that it was time to wake up. For once the annoyance of being woken up didn't stop the smile from spreading across her face when he grabbed her hands and tried to pull her upper body up and off of the bed. It gets A Little Better.
Emotions. The very thing that make us human.
When anxiety and fear grab her by the tongue and dry her mouth, she doesn't panic anymore. She's been there before, plenty of times so she knows the feeling all too well. Knowing it makes it less scary. So instead of letting it take her down, she tells herself everything will be alright. Her emotions are a part of her. If you look closer, you could see the perfected mask of pretense and raw emotions breaking down. If you listened carefully, you could hear the cries and fake laughs begin to fade away. It was honestly quite fascinating how the dark held the power to drag you down yet also bring the unsurfaced into the light. How it unmasks the hidden so brightly.
Emotions. The very thing that make us human.
You can have happiness, pride, excitement, relief. Every emotion considered good. But what would you be if you didn't feel hurt, or pain, or despair? You can't have the good without the bad. There is no light without darkness. The trick is to balance them, so the bad doesn't seem so terrible, and you can truly appreciate the good. Things like anger, sadness, fear and stress can only hold her back, stop her from reaching her dreams. She can't say it never comes again, but each victory gets A Little Easier.
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( Oi Oi Oi! My lovelies! I know it hasn't been that long, but i just couldn't resist so...i'm baaaack! Did you miss me? )
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