Repetition Compulsion

21.

The rest of the ride was filled with comfortable silence, except for the occasional head bopping, and humming along to the music from both Sera and Abimbola. Sera could feel Abimbola's eyes fixated on her the entire ride, but that didn't make her feel as scared as she felt when Troy did it to her. Abimbola's gaze was different: It was empathetic, understanding and all knowing, even though she hadn't actually told him anything yet. Yet despite this, his gaze made her feel seen and understood. She got the sense that Abimbola could see right through her and her fake jokes, fake smiles and fake 'woke' music. She had a feeling that he could smell her brokenness, and her impotence reeking in the air even from where he was sitting, and yet he never once brought it up.

Above all, she could sense that he was dying to ask her about the gun he had seen on her living room table earlier on, yet he didn't once bring it up. If there was one thing that Sera had learned about Abimbola, it was that he was very good at keeping his word. If he agreed never to bring something up, then Sera could rest assured that he wouldn't.

Sera was also quite aware that she didn't need him to ask her about it, the gun that is. She could have chosen to put his thoughts to rest right there and then (hell, that's what any decent human being would have done), yet she didn't. But then again, holding on to this information was the only thing that was keeping Sera sane. It was the one thing she was in control of, hence it made her feel powerful. Sera desperately needed to feel some kind of power, no matter how small or insignificant it may have seemed to the ordinary person. So instead of offering him any information, Sera kept her eyes locked outside the window whilst she tried really hard to pretend that she couldn't feel Abimbola's gaze piercing through her soul.

When they finally arrived at the venue, Abimbola carefully parked his car in the VIP section and then walked over to Sera's side of the car to open the door for her.

"Thank you." Sera said, as he closed the door behind her.

Instead of using the overcrowded entrance, he reached for Sera's hand and led her towards what looked like a private backdoor entry. Sera followed without asking questions, but she soon got an explanation as they set foot inside.

"Paparazzi", Abimbola said, turning to her, and whispering into her ear. "They like to use the front entrance."

A shiver ran down Sera's spine as Abimbola's warm breath hit against her neck. "Mmh...well, do you have something to hide?", Sera replied, shaking off the shiver.

His eyes scanned hers momentarily, and for a minute it seemed like he had something to say. But then, he must have changed his mind because he put both hands in his pocket, and a serious look appeared on his face. "Maybe, maybe not", he whispered loudly enough so only Sera could hear.

***

The inside of the building was impeccable, and was quite similar to the one that she had been in at the last recruiting function she was at. There was a big, glassy chandelier hanging on the ceiling in the middle of the room, and true to the dress code, everyone was dressed formally. So formally that Sera could have sworn this was a black tie event.

As soon as they entered the room, Abimbola's stature changed. His eyes were a little more observant, and his body language was a lot more harder to read. He now had a glass of wine in hand, and Sera had no idea where he had gotten it, because one minute it was there, and the next it wasn't.

"It's all in the body language", Abimbola said, as soon as he noticed her staring. "See, a lot of agents think that to recruit a good intern, you need to go up to them and talk to them. But you can tell a lot about a person by the way they talk, and move and interact with those around them. I always have a shortlist. But I never tell them I'm interested. I wait right until their final year, and only then do I make my move. "

Sera found herself wondering if he had done that with her, but she didn't ask. Besides, he couldn't have, otherwise, he wouldn't have taken her home that night. Abimbola didn't strike her as the type to mix business with pleasure. Besides, she was a boring subject to watch, there was no way he could have been watching her for three whole years just so he could make a move and recruit her as an intern for one year. There was no way. It didn't make sense.

"I'm gonna go powder my nose, okay?", Sera said, excusing herself. Abimbola appeared to be really in his element, and she was starting to feel like she was disturbing him.

Sera walked slowly across the crowded hallway, being sure to keep a mental note of everything in her mind, just in case she got lost on her way back. When she got to the bathroom, she ran a hand through her hair, powdered her nose, and then retouched her lipstick. After that, she stared at her own reflection in the mirror, before she started reciting a mantra all in an attempt to recompose herself and hold herself together for the rest of the night.