Find You (Jon X Damian fanfic)

Suffocated

A loud bang. A even louder thud. Cold silence.

The sounds rang around in his mind like a record on loop. Bang bang bang bAng BAN-

"Damian?" Dick's worried face stared him up and down. They sat opposite each other in the dining room with the rest of his brothers turning their attention to Damian the instant Dick's concerned words left his mouth.

Damian blinked, steadying himself. He stopped pouring cereal into his bowl that seemed on the verge of overflowing. He slowly put it down and nodded to his brothers. "I'm fine."

"He wasn't snarky, no way the demon spawn is fine." Jason stage whispered to Tim, who giggled as a spoon came flying towards Jason's face. "Still violent though."

Damian rolled his eyes, it had been a week already and Damian was hell bent of rehabilitating faster than he should. He needed to search for Jon and with no one producing any results to find Superboy, Damian had no choice but to wait till he was physically fit enough to search for him.

In the meantime, the internet was where Damian started first. Anything he could find was useful, and sure as hell Jon wouldn't be able to stay out of public eyes for long. He just stood out too much to not be somewhere on the internet at any given time.

Damian smiled, recalling how Jon used to be a skimpy long bean with super strength yet nothing to show for it. Growing up, both of them bulked up their fair share, though Jon surpassed Damian in both height and muscle.

"I have to go now, rest well lil' D." Dick sighed, ruffling Damians hair.

"I'm 24 Greyson, I think you can stop that." Damian scoffed, smoothing his hair back into place. To him it felt like yesterday that he saw Dick. To Dick it felt like he was close to never seeing his brother again.

"Bye!" Dick shot out without answering, pretending not to have heard.

"Demon, you need to understand that he missed you okay? Don't be an ass." Jason growled, he felt the same way as Dick after all. Years of staying in the same house does that to you.

"If I act okay I'm rude, if I don't I'm not okay. Make up your damn minds." Damian sighed, he didn't want his brothers to worry, but this was getting ridiculous. "If you need me, I'll be
in my room."

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Damian gripped the sheets of his bed tightly, knuckles turning so white that it started to hurt. Damian tossed in his sleep, nightmares refusing to let him rest in peace.

Blood, more blood.

Damian gasped, eyes flinging open. He sat up slowly on his bed, trying to catch his breath. This used to happen a lot when he was younger and realised right from wrong. A few years after he came into Batman's wing.

All his life he's been taught that murder and violence were the answers to most things. Kill or be killed.

But Batman slowly opened his eyes to a possibility of not killing. That other lives mattered and Damian learnt it well. So after so many years of the art of not killing, when he did kill after so long, the guilt ate away at him like never before.

All his past victims would haunt him, pester him with incoherent muttering and shaming. So loud and noisy and he couldn't shut them out. They wouldn't stop.

Until Jon came. Jon helped Damian come out of the dark place he was in, drowning in guilt and pain. He pulled Damian out, dried him and gave him warmth and happiness like never before. Comfort could be found in all that Jon did and said.

Damian looked around his cold and dark room. Empty, empty, empty.

But Jon wasn't here now.