Loving Amara

𝟎𝟏| 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 nate

-Amara-

Growing up, my mother and I used to spend almost every single second of our days with each other. She had kept it that way ever since I was little, and it had only increased the moment after my father left when I was only five.

I can still remember the figure of his back facing me as he walked out of the door like nothing. He just up and left like he didn't have a daughter or wife in his life who needed him. It has been sixteen years since the last time I've seen him. He hasn't even bothered to call me or text me, but he still sends me birthday cards with the same message on it. Every. Single. Year.

'Happy Birthday kiddo. Love dad.'

In all honesty, I'm just surprised that he even takes the time out of his day to remember my birthday. I figured he would have just forgotten about me and lived his new life somewhere with his new family that he might have replaced my mother and I with.

He had completely ruined my mother. During the year that he left, we had been struggling with money, and could barely afford to pay for the house. She had to get two jobs and pick up extra shifts while raising me all at once just so she could keep a roof over my head.

She always kept me out of business whenever things were getting rough because she never wanted me to worry. She just wanted me to live a normal life, but I couldn't even do that properly considering she had control over every single thing I did growing up.

My life revolved around her for the most part. I only could have girl friends over, but due to the fact that she never let me out of the house to socialize, I didn't even have that many friends to hangout with. My mom rarely let me hang out with boys at all. If I did, they had to come over to my house so that she could keep a close eye on us, and my bedroom door had to stay open at all times if we were ever up in my room.

Sometimes I felt like I wasn't even living my own life considering she made every single decision for me. I didn't even get to go to my high school prom or any other events because she was afraid that I would get drunk and taken advantage of, amongst other things. She became crazy to the point where I had to tell her every single detail about my life. The only time I was allowed to leave the house was for school and then right after, I had to come straight home.

Eventually, I got tired of my mom always controlling my life, and we got into an argument and fight about how she never respected my boundaries at all. She excused her actions by saying that she was trying to protect me, but I couldn't take it anymore. So, when I turned eighteen, I ran away from home.

One of the very few friends that I had made in high school had been looking for a roommate at the time, and she let me move in with her until I could finally get a job and help out with rent.

I haven't spoken to either one of my parents since the last time I seen them, and now I have my own apartment and stable job all by the age of twenty-one.
-
Staring up at the ceiling of the apartment while I laid back in my bed, I twirled a piece of my wavy blonde hair between my fingers as I got lost inside of my own thoughts.

"Nate," I called out softly. "Do you ever wonder what it's like to die?" I asked the man who had his face buried between my legs. He stopped, pulling away as he licked his lips. His gaze met mine, and I seen the look of irritation in his eyes.

"What the fuck, Amara. I'm literally eating you out, and you're wondering what it's like to die?" He had an agitated sound to his voice as he just stared at me. I giggled at how serious he looked before biting back my smile.