Times up (Jake Webber x Reader)

Chapter 14

I feel as though I wrote my own feelings instead of the readers for this chapter(they're the same but still). If you ever need to talk about anything in this chapter then please talk to a friend, family member or even me. I may not be able to help because I'm not a therapist or anything but I'm willing to try and help people out.
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Warning: Triggering Content!

Colby's POV:

Jake and Aaron stand in shock when I tell them what had happened. I was surprised that Jake even cared anymore. He kept saying over and over again that he was going to find the guy and kill him.

Aaron felt genuinely bad and was thinking of ways that he could cheer (Y/n) up. He would've done anything in the world just so that she didn't have to go through that.

I told them not to bother her for a while because she was sleeping and would probably not want to see anyone when she woke up.

(Y/n)'s POV:

I knew exactly what I needed to do when I woke up, the only problem was how? Maybe I didn't need to but I wanted to, I was just saying "need" because it makes me feel a lot better about all of this. Like I'm doing this for a reason, a purpose and not just because I'm selfish.

Was it selfish to end your own life?

I hate the thought of people being sad because of it but in the end, it's my life. I should be able to do with it what I please right? If I want to throw it away then that's my choice, I can't possibly be selfish for this. If they knew the pain I went through and am still currently going through then they would understand. They would know that this is my only option and they would do the same if they were in my shoes.

"They" being my friends, my family, anyone really. Except the strong people. I really envy them, the way they soldier through everything and anything. Are they actually that strong or are they just fronting? Do they act strong to make others happy? To protect their loved ones? Or are they blessed by god?

If so then does that mean god hates me? What did I do wrong for god, the man who loves everyone, to hate me?

A horrid feeling falls over me and I rush to the bathroom, hunching over the toilet and tossing up the last thing I ate.

If god hates me then what is my purpose? Why am I alive?

Should I......even be alive?

These thoughts only push me further towards my goal that I had as soon as I woke up. I'm going to end my life and I'll be damned if I let anyone stop me. This is the one thing I have genuinely wanted since I met Jake, the one thing that I want for myself. This will be my first and last choice I make as a person free from chains and ties.

My eyes shine with determination as I search the cabinets for anything that would do the job.

We had no medication in this bathroom and I didn't want to leave the room and see anyone so I pulled out the next best thing.

A razor.

My hands greedily grab at the object and clutch it to my chest as if it is my saving grace.

My eyes widen as I realise I haven't left any sort of note. I peek out of the bathroom door before rushing into my room, writing one main letter and multiple side letters to each individual roommate. I rush back to the bathroom and lock the door, running myself a nice, warm bath so that I could at least enjoy myself.

I hop into the bath fully clothed after it was done. If I'm going to die then I sure as hell don't want to be naked.

I look down at the razor in my hand before bringing it to my skin.

Let's get this over with then.

Colby's POV:

I had heard the sound of the bath running and could only assume that (Y/n) was having a bath, which she usually did to relieve stress. It had been a while now since she got in the bath so I decided to check on her.

"(Y/n)?" I knock on the bathroom door and speak. Not the first door that has the sinks in it but the door that has the toilet and bath in it.

Silence follows and I get slightly worried. What if she fell asleep in the bath?

"(Y/n)? Can you say something so that I know you're alright?" I knock on the door louder than before, my panic increasing every second she doesn't answer. I may be over dramatic about this but I was worried.

"What's going on?" Sam asks as he and Jake come up the stairs.

"She's not answering and she's been in there for ages." I turn to them and they can clearly see the panic in my eyes.

"Calm down, just open the door." Jake mumbles as he rubs his eyes, seemingly exhausted even though he didn't do shit all day.

"Oh my god, you're a genius. Why on earth hadn't I thought to open the door?" I grab my head and gasp dramatically before deadpanning.

"It's locked idiot." The bluntness of my tone makes Jake's eyes widen before he huffs and looks off to the side.

"I have a question though. Is it worth it to kick down the door?" I question as I nervously scratch my head.

"You're so overprotective but if it makes you feel better than go ahead. You're paying for it though." Sam grumbles in annoyance and I turn to the door.

I kick it three times before it breaks open, revealing a horrifying sight that I wish I never had to see in my life. The three of us stare in shock and disbelief as the girl we had such a strong bond with, lay lifeless in a red coloured bath. Blood drips from her arm that is on the side of the bath with a razor right by it, her face is pale but she looks peaceful.

We all panic, calling an ambulance, shouting at one another, trying to get (Y/n) to respond. We were hopeless. If we had even a shred of hope, it was shattered when the paramedics said that she was already dead.

I can't help but feel that this is my fault. I told everyone not to bother her when she woke up but if we did....would she be alive right now? Would we have been able to prevent this?

They wheeled her away with a white sheet covering her. We all sat on the couch in silence, no one wanting to talk about what just happened. The rest of the roommates had walked in on our panic and soon became the same as us.

How were we supposed to live without her? She brought so much joy to us all, without her we don't have the strength to make jokes and be happy, not for a long while at least.