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"How many?"

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"How many?"

The night pressed heavily into the both of us, all I could do was blink at the flames, the weight of what we did plays in my mind on repeat nearly unbearably, over and over. The blood, the screams, the people who never even got a chance to live.

"How many?" I asked again. Leaflet had darkness spreading over her face, the glow of her eyes dimmed as she glared into the fire. Something she saw was what made her like that.

Oh, I wonder what on earth could have possibly played in my mind to shell shock someone into a stunned, horrified silence. 

"Six bonds were severed, eleven people died and twelve other were collateral. And then, just as we were closing in, Eon dropped off of the grid. There was always a thought that he wasn't working alone, but no one knew for sure until you popped up in Woling," Numb.

"I–" The only part of myself that I could feel was my lungs, how they slowly expanded and shrank, filling up and decompressing with cold air that rushed in and swooshed out to leave me hollow once again. "I don't... I can't.." My words died the second they rolled off the tongue.

"What were you looking for?" Leaflet glanced up from the fire. 

"If it counts for anything, you're the reason that I'm alive."

Right, but that's not an answer to my question.

Leaflet carefully sat on a patch of dried moss beside me, some hollowness leaving when her warm hand rested over top of my own. I hadn't even realized they were shaking until she held it tight to keep it still.

"What happened after.. after Eon disappeared?" It was like a whole box of cotton balls had been shoved into my mouth, and my eyes ached from the bright light of the fire that I refused to let myself look away from. If I did, I would have to look at her, and if I looked at her, it all felt so much more real.

"Well, I don't really know it all. No one does, but let's assume that that was when you went on the hunt for Cara. But, well, it's hard to explain because none of it was really you. None of it. That necklace, the Thrall, it's nearly impossible to tell where you ended and Eon began. Truthfully, I don't know how you broke it without killing yourself," I licked my dried lips, for the briefest of moments I could taste iron.

"Cara said something like that too, so did Axle," my heart ached, my words strained. "Not about the, about the could have killed myself thing, but all the rest of it really. It hurt something awful when I took the necklace off, I almost wished I was dead."

Leaflet was already staring at me when I turned to her.

"I killed more people, didn't I?" She didn't even hesitate with her nod, making me wince internally when she squeezed my hand in comfort.

"Two others, and kill.. that would be the kind way to put it. It was more like torture, I guess you were trying to figure out where to best find Cara. Somehow though, you ended up in Woling, with Axle was your saving grace," I smiled at that, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, wishing that when they would open his honey ones would be staring back at me.

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