Eight

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[Evie]

"No Liam we have to talk." I squirm and muffle my giggles.

"I like this in between space. We've both been forgiven here. Here I can hold you again. I'm safe." He sighs, but does let me go and follow me out of the closet. I guide him to my bed where I sit cross-crossed.

"My letters—"

"Your arm—"

We speak at the same time and smile a bit. I urge him to go ahead.

"I forgot that I had them in my pocket when you gave them to me. I opened the first, but never took out the others. After everything happened, I kind of forgot about them." He offers.

"Oh." I manage. In all fairness I hadn't realized either.

"Does your arm hurt?"

"Not really. Showering with a bag over it isn't fun though."

"Right." He laughs dryly. "Why green?"

"I let my friends pick the color."

"Not your smartest move, Princess."

My heart flutters. There it is, he called me princess. I wish it didn't have such an effect on me. I glance at my lap, remembering the night of the snow ball.

Perfect time for that, thanks brain.

"I don't know what to say, Evie. You meant everything to me, and when you fell to the ground that day. . . You ripped my heart out."

I inhale sharply. "I'm sorry."

"That's it? Seriously, not to be rude, but I think I deserve a little more. You scared me half to death and then wouldn't let me visit."

I try not to scream. Apologies aren't my forte and well. . . I messed up big this time. I want him back, but only if he's willing to adjust to my needs now. If we're going to be together I don't want to hide anything about my narcolepsy from him.

"I never should have kept it from you once I realized I loved you." I gaze at him, his eyes flash with surprise in the dim lighting.

"You loved me? Me?" He marvels. "I never thought you would. You never said."

"I was afraid that I'd lose you if I said so before I told you everything. Then I was scared to tell you about my narcolepsy. I've been taught since I was little to hide it. Only a handful of people know. Turns out I lost you anyways." I wrap my arms around my middle.

"It was wrong, and there's no excuse, but Liam. . . I realized how much I missed your smile while I was at St. Anne's. Day after day I refused to see you because I couldn't bear to hear you tell me you hated me."

"I did for a bit. I was so angry, so upset. More than anything, I was scared." He grabs my hand. I look at our entwined fingers and feel tears brimming. "I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't tell me."

"Are we being functional right now?" I joke to swallow the tears back.

"I think this is called communication, and I think ours is on the way to being a healthy friendship." He reaches out and brushes the rebellious drops from under my eyes.

I wince at the word.

"I forgive you, but you can't lie to me again. I won't budge on it. Lies are never good." Liam trails off.

"And I accept your apology too." I fidget. I look up and see him avoiding eye contact.

"So, we're all good?" He asks. I nod. "That was a lot easier than my nightmares made it seem."

"You had nightmares about this moment?" I snort. To be fair, I've developed an eensy weensy problem too. My newest enemy: night terrors.

"This could have gone ten thousand bad ways. I forget how grown up you are. At the risk of sounding cliché, I'll say it: you're not like other girls Evie Walker."

"What tipped you off." I deadpan.

"Does this mean I get to know all the things now? Can I be one of your people? That like catch you when you have attacks?"

"I call them sleep spells actually." I shift. Am I really ready to tell him everything. It's been a wild night.

"Oh, you know what? Never mind, we'll save it for another day." He picks up on my discomfort.

"Thanks. I'll tell you all about it one day." I can't get that word out of my head.

Friend. I don't want to be friends.

"I—"

"Liam—"

We chuckle again. This time I talk first. "Liam I think being friends is great, but. . . for tonight can we just pretend none of this happened?"

"Are you sure?" He eyes me. I combust under his gaze.

"It's just one night. We can be friends tomorrow right?"

"Then I guess you're right. All that's left is to kiss and make up." He says dramatically, a conspiracy gleams in his eye.

"I guess so."

I close the space between us and do just that, kiss him. Again I almost burst into tears, I've missed him. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

His lips move so familiarly against mine. The way he teases his tongue into my mouth and retreats, tugging my bottom lip back against his. I don't know if I should moan or cry.

We back and suddenly I'm on top of him. I lace my fingers through his crazy hair and tug softly. I move slightly against him and put my mouth on his neck, dancing at the hem of his shirt. His breath hitches and he pushes me gently.

"We can't, Princess." He sighs. "It wouldn't be fair to either of us."

I blush and turn away. Of course we can't. Who said we could? Not me.

"Come here," Liam smiles instead and pulls me down into the crook of his arm. I cuddle up against his chest and let out a deep breath.

He leans over and turns my lamp off. "Friends?"

"Friends." I reply.

I wait until he's asleep and then I cry quietly. We made up, it's what I wanted. But then, why am I sad? Friends is good, friends is better than enemies. Friends is best for both of us. I mean, maybe he found someone else.

I cling to him and barely sleep a wink. I can't, not when these late precious hours maybe the last time I'll be this intimate with him. Close enough to see the way his ears twitch when he's cold. Close enough to feel the weight of his head on mine.

I kiss his cheek and whisper as the sun comes up. "I still love you. I always will.

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