⭐ 07 ~

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I silently eat breakfast as Illumi stared at me at the other side of the table. Currently, it's just me, him sitting infront of me, and Touji to my right while Silva is at the head of the table to my left.

I am seriously getting pissed off by his stares. He probably wants me to say something first and maybe get comfortable before they say something about the marriage but I'm stiff as a pole.

I know this day would come when they would ask me to marry him but I am not ready. And I don't think I would ever be ready.

"How about we talk about it now?" Silva's voice pierced through the silence in the air making me almost drop my spoon.

"I don't think I would want to talk about it while my son is here. I might say something he shouldn't hear" I said, at this Illumi's eyes widen. Seemingly thought of something.

"Then why don't we send him to his room for now" he said.  I look to my right and saw c/n frowning at me.

"*sigh baby... Why don't you go to your room first. Bring your plate with you" I said. He simply nodded his head before getting up from his chair, the buttler taking his plates to bring to his room.

"Y/N, I accepted you into our household and provided you with everything you need. We give your son a home as well as giving him the knowledge he needs to survive in this world. " Silva spoke, looking at me intently. " It's time for you to make up your mind. Marry my son and be part of tge family."

I really don't know what to say. The father of my child is not Illumi.... But.... I don't know who the father is either.

Illumi is a good choice if you ask me but there's this nagging feeling inside me that keeps me from saying yes.

Why am I nervous? I only need to say yes.

I look towards Illumi and think about everything that he has done for me. He's there when he's not.

Illumi's black eyes stared back at me. No hint of emotion, just plain black orbs that seems to be an endless darkness.

"Do I really have a choice?" I asked sarcasticly.

I don't have anywhere to go. My son needs a home. I've been using all my stock money from my Chest ever since I stop killing people. Right now I don't have any job. My child doesn't know that I'm a killer even though he knows that Illumi is an assasin. He's too young to understand what an assasin does.

"Glad we came to an agreement" Silva said with a smile on his face while I grumbled from my seat. But as I glance at Illumi, a little smile can be seen from his face.

Maybe... Just maybe... This isn't a bad choice,  after all.

.....

Days had past... In four months.. Me and Illumi are getting married.

Yet I never felt happy from the thought of marrying him.. Like there's a string tugging at my heart telling me to look away. Telling me to run and find something that has been forgotten.

The nightmares didn't help. It just made me confused even more. Why is that I feel lost?

I'm not lost, am I?

"Mama, Look!" C/N said, holding a stock of papers in his small hands.

"What is it, love?" I asked, bending a little bit so that I can match his height.

"I draw something, It's you and me and Illumi!" he happily said with his hands flailing around.

"Well you need to calm down so I can see" I said, laughing a little bit.

"Here" and like he said, it was the three of us. I can see myself wearing a (fav/shirt) with (Short/pants/skirt), while c/n is wearing something like a beanie on his head and someone next to him who I assume would be Illumi in his green attire.

"It looks perfect. You like drawing?"

He nods his head as some papers fall from his grasp.

I laugh at how giddy he is and started to pick up the papers from the ground until one particular drawing caught my eyes.

"C/N who's this?" I asked, a little confused.

"Hmm.. " he look at the drawing as his eyes lit up in recognition. "I met him at the forest. He said his name is Hisoma.. Or Hisora... Hikoma? I forgot, mom" He said, scratching his head.

I look at the drawing,
red hair... And a shirt with star and heart. Other than that there's nothing else that I can picture out.

"Hisoka" I whispered without thinking.

"Right! That's his name. Do you know him, mom?" C/N asked me, clueless as I am.

"No...?  I don't know. Maybe Illumi told me about him and I just forgot." I said.

"What did you forgot?" Illumi's voice startled me.  I stood up and look back to see him standing a few meters away.

"Uhmm.. This. He looks familiar to me and C/n said he met him." I said, showing him the drawing.

Illumi look at it with a blank face until a few seconds later, his eyes turned serious as he suddenly snatched the paper from my hand.

"He's no one. Don't talk to him, don't go near him, don't think about him." He said and immediately tear the drawing into tiny pieces.

Huh?? Why?? Who is he??

"What? Wait- why did you tear it? It's c/n's drawing!" I said and immediately look at my son with worry.

And yeah damn I am right! He's tearing up...

"Oohh... Baby. Don't cry...." I said and immediately hug him while glaring at Illumi.

"A. Po. Lo. Gize" I mouthed to him, still glaring.

I don't like crying children even though it's my son. And who the fck likes to see their children cry?

"I'm sorry. Do you want some cookies" Illumi said with his voice void of any emotion.

And just like that. Illumi acted like nothing happened..

Well whatever. Whoever that Hisoka is.. I'm sure we'll never meet.

~ ♥ ~
A/N

Hah!! Sorry it's a really boring chapter.
I'll try to update faster
It's just that I lost motivation but don't worry I'm trying to grasp the motivation that I needed to finish this book

Votes and comments are highly appreciated

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