The Hidden Hunter ✔️

Chapter 7: Conversation

Shauna's POV

I crawled into the Bay Window and found Maya and Riley waiting for me just as I had figured they would. Farkle, Lucas and Zay were there as well, I'm guessing the girls had told them about what happened.

"Omg Shauna! I'm so sorry about what happened, but it's going to be okay," Riley said while pulling me into a hug.

"No!" Maya interjected. "I know what it's like to have your entire life changed in an instant. None of this is okay. It may be later but it's not right now."

"Maya, Riley, just let her calm down first. Don't start filling her head with your rhetoric," Farkle begged.

   "Exactly, let her calm down first. Y'all need to chill for a sec," Zay said casually.

  Lucas just sat there staring at me concerned. I wasn't sure what to make of that but I appreciated his silence.

"Thanks guys. I didn't really know where else to go...Riley, can I crash here tonight?"

   "Of course you can! You can stay here as long as you want."

   "Thanks."

A second later I heard a knock on the window. The group of us all looked to see Shawn peering in.

Riley opened the window. "Uncle Shawn, I figured you'd be here eventually, come on in," she said, ushering him in.

He frowned, forehead wrinkling in concern. "Actually Riley, I think I should talk with Shauna alone. That is, if that's ok with you," he finished, glancing nervously at me.

  "I think that might be a good idea..."

   "Okay," Shawn replied, leading me back out the window. I was sure the group would be eavesdropping on us.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked as I awkwardly rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet.

  "Shauna I'm so sorry, I had no idea. I would've been there for you if I'd know. I—"

   "I know. I'm not upset with you. Like I said earlier it's not your fault, it never was, it never will be. This is all on my mom."

"I'm glad you're not upset with me, but don't blame Angela," Shawn attempted to defend my mother. "She thought she was doing the right thing."

"How could she possibly be doing the right thing? She lied to me my entire life! You're an amazing person Shawn! I wish I could've grown up with you as my father!"

  Shawn sighed, looking at me delicately. "Shauna, back when Angela and I were together, I had a lot going on... I grew up with my dad going in and out of my life, and he died of a heart attack when I was nineteen. My mom left me twice, and later I found out she wasn't even my biological mother, my real mom abandoned me at birth and I never was able to find her..."

  "Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

   "Because I need you to understand why your mom did what she did," he answered. "Because of everything that had happened to me, I was terrified of having children of my own. I was afraid that I'd turn out like my parents and leave when or if I had kids. I didn't want to be a deadbeat father so I always told myself that I wouldn't give myself a chance to be one.

  "Angela knew that. She knew that better than anyone. Her mom abandoned her too! We were both scared. So, she went to Europe to be with her father, the only parent she had left. And I stayed here to be with my friends and my half-brother, the only family I had left. Angela didn't find out she was pregnant until after she got to Europe. Even if she had told me, what would I be able to do? We were thousands of miles apart. I had a job, and college to focus on. I wouldn't have been good for you if I had moved to be with her. I would've been a poor, college drop out and your mom and I would've eventually split up.

"Shauna, you are very lucky to have the family you have now. Both your mom and step-dad are always around, you have a stable home, lots of friends and you are extremely loved. And I'm here now too, I'll be whatever you want me to be for you, just as I am for Maya. I'm not going anywhere."

I was overwhelmed by what I'd just heard. I knew Shawn had had a rough past but I never knew any of this about my mom. What was I supposed to make of it?

  Should I be upset at the fact that neither my mom nor Shawn wanted children, was I a burden to them? Should I be happy that Shawn cares so much and wants to stay in my life? Or shall I be worried about the effect this is going to have on Maya and her new found hope?

"Shauna?"

  I realized I'd been staring at Shawn for the past thirty seconds or so as I was processing everything.

  "Sorry, I just- I-I don't quite know what to make of all this..."

   "I don't either," Shawn replied honestly. "But I'm willing to stay and figure it out with you... if that's what you want?"

  "Yeah, I think that's a good idea." I smiled.