cadere ∞ 5sos (slow updates)

Chapter 16 ∞

Ok guys so this is long. Slight smut but not really. You may cry you may not idk. *UNEDITED*

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Calum's POV

Before Sydni came back, Mikey was telling us about people with blue eyes. Apparently they have soulmates and they like, can change or something like that. Honestly, I don't believe him. But I do believe him when he told us that he loved her. Liam and Zayn were telling him that he couldn't love someone that he's known for barely 3 months. (JUST PRETEND ITS BEEN THREE MONTHS IDEK) That's right, we've been here for a little over 3 months. But I know it's possible.

Wait, did I really just think that? I don't love her, right? I don't love her. Yes you do. No I don't. You do. I can't believe this, I'm fighting with myself. But maybe I'm right. You most definitely do.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by a voice. "Calum! Hello!!" Luke's voice rips through my mind and tears me from my thoughts. "Stop thinking about Mara naked!" A light blush coats my cheeks, and even though I wasn't thinking about her I don't bother correcting him. At my silence Niall squeaks out a quick 'Hey, that's my sister!' and then proceeds to slap me across the back of my head. Of course now is when Mara decides to walk into the room. "Niall! Stop hitting Calum." I smile at this as the sibling converse.

"But Mar, he was thinking about you naked. And had a goofy grin on his face. That's not ok." A smirk slides onto Mara's face and Niall is completely shocked at her comment, just like everyone else.

"Does it make you feel better if I was thinking the same about him?" Even im shocked, and we've been having flirty conversations the entire time we've been here. I'm happy we've been on an extended break, all three of our bands, because we get to spend time together. "Whatever." Mara's voice snaps me out of my thoughts and grabs my hand. "We're going upstairs." Just before we get out of ear distance, Luke calls out a quick 'use protection' and we both laugh. Her laugh is intoxicating, it makes me wanna do whatever she wants. That's it, I'm going for it. I quickly grab her and slam her against the wall, pushing my lips against hers. She stands shocked before she starts kissing back. Our mouths dance against each other and hands trail across both of our bodies. We quickly find a room, without detaching ourselves from each other, and when I open my eyes I see its Jamie's room. When she notices in not paying attention to her anymore, Mara bits my bottom lip and pulls it out, before releasing it and letting it snap back into place. I grab her thighs and she jumps up, wrapping her legs around my waist. I make my way over to the bed, our lips still entwined. Laying her down on the bed, I crawl my way up to her and leave a small peck on her lips.

Clothes fly off and in a blink of an eye we are both in our undergarments. She arches her back up to allow me to unclasp her bra, and slide it off of her. When I trail down to her undies, I leave kisses along the thin line in between skin and fabric. I look up into her eyes and whisper what's been on my mind the entire time. "I love you." At this she tenses and pushes me away.

She shakes her head repeatedly, and won't let me get any words in. "No," she whispers to herself, and then repeats herself louder. "You don't love me, you can't love me." I'm confused. "No, Mara. I love you so much, and Mikey and Luke were talking earlier about soulmates. And I think that I might be yours. Please, just let me love you." I'm practically begging by now, this was most definitely not how I thought this would go."What?" "Tell me. I know how you feel. I can feel your love, and I just want you to say you love me." She stops for a bit before answering. "I can't Cal, I physically can't tell you. No." "Why Mar?"

"Why? Because Cal. Do you know what happens when you find your soulmate? You fall in love. And everyone I love gets hurt. And I don't want you hurt." She pauses, and I see a tear slip out from her eye. "Tell me what happened. Tell me why. Let me in."

She's quiet for a bit until she starts. "I met you for the first time in year one. Do you remember that? That was one of the only times I've ever spoken to you. You already know Luke was my neighbor and best friend. When we were seven, Abby, Lydia and I left Aus and moved here, to New York. When we were ten, we were walking home from the playground. It was down the street from my house. While we were walking, a white van pulled up next to us , and men came out. They took us, Cal." She stops and looks up at me before continuing. "We were taken to some place, the girls were beaten, and I was raped, everyday, for three years straight. I was already going through puberty when I turned eleven, and then he did it more. I got pregnant a lot, had a few kids, and he killed each and every one of them." She chokes out a quiet sob, and even then continues on. "Eventually we escaped, and it was because he tried to rape Abby. I changed and took one of the things he loved the most away from him. His biggest weapon." "His dick." I answer for her. She nods before continuing. "When we were leaving he said that he would take away everything I loved. I of course didn't believe him, until one time, when I was fifteen, I was saying goodbye to one of my good friends, Lauren. She was going back to Vietnam with her mom. I told her I loved her and the next thing I know, I'm covered and blood and she's lying on the ground, a huge hole in her head. He shot her head off with a shotgun because I loved her. Then later on, I had this boyfriend. His name was Chris. We were in the park one day, and there's this building in the middle of the park. He picked me up and pushed me against the wall and kissed me. I had my eyes closed, but I felt him ripped from me and thrown on the ground. He shot him 4 times. Ironically, I told Chris I loved him the day before. Everyone I love gets hurt, Calum. But I won't let him get you." her story brought tears to my eyes, and I have a feeling that what she gave me wasn't even the full story, but I didn't want to push her.

It was then that I felt a bond between us. I brought her close and I told her yet again that I loved her. She said something, but it was muffled by my chest. After I asked her to repeat herself she pulled away from me, she said "Don't love me. All it will do is hurt you." At this I smile a sad smile before slowly whispering to her, "Nothing could hurt me more than being away from you." She looks up at me, and I wipe away the tears streaming down her face with the pad of my thumb. I lean down and press a kiss to her lips. "Hey, babe." She looks up at me again. "Change your eyes teal."

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Wooh guys it been so long. Idk how I feel about this but uhh the cats out of the bag? I guess? Idk. Vote comment love me please.